IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? How can we create an ideal society?

#people #society #times #happen
Unarguably, people throughout history have been trying to set up a perfect place to live in for future generations. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we will discuss the factors responsible for it and how to overcome them.
To begin
, folks have been preparing plans for an ideal social space.
however
, somehow are failing to implement those plans appropriately.
Additionally
, all individuals are not aware of the benefits of living in a healthy space.
Consequently
, all plans are not getting implemented and we are failing in pursuing the target.
For instance
, I conduct monthly workshops to
aware
Add an article
the aware
show examples
 community
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their social responsibilities in my office and my town.
Furthermore
, most individuals believe that social tasks are not their own tasks, it's only
other's
Fix the agreement mistake
others'
show examples
 duties. As a resolution, we should enlighten folks about social problems and their responsibilities towards them. Government should start regular campaigns to
aware
Correct article usage
the aware
show examples
 population. Simultaneously, individuals should realise that they ought to take care of social issues if they want to live in a symbolic place. Government should
also
 make rules and laws to adhere the public to all regulations. In conclusion, to establish a peaceful and stable society for our coming generations, we should
putendeavours
Correct your spelling
put endeavors
put endeavours
 towards the pursuit of an ideal society. Eventually, our hard efforts will surely reward the fruits of a peaceful ideal society.
Submitted by Anil Pahal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ideal society
  • equality
  • social justice
  • sustainable practices
  • community engagement
  • economic stability
  • cultural diversity
  • accessible healthcare
  • fair justice system
  • educational opportunities
  • environmental sustainability
  • active participation
  • inclusive society
What to do next:
Look at other essays: