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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

ii. #Health - "Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (IELTS 2, AC)

#ii #health #prevention #cure #country #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures #ielts #ac
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A huge percentage of the nation's funds must be redirected from treatment to
health
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 education expenditure and preventative
measures
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. I totally agree with
this
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 statement as the old maxim says prevention is better than cure. People who focus on treatment would like to save lives in front of them while disregarding the
health
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 status of the majority.
For example
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, for those cancer patients that need continuous chemotherapy, the government placed a high amount sum of money for their survival.
In addition
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 to
this
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, they agreed to fund different organizations pertaining to giving treatment rapidly.
Thus
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, a number of citizens are ignoring how to educate and making precautionary
measures
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 on the
health
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 status of individuals. Others are agreeing on
health
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 education since it would give full assistance for all citizens to obtain the knowledge that can be utilized for survival.
For instance
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, conducting a lecture on breast self-examination to the public may aid a person to procure basic knowledge that could assist them in detecting lumps and avoiding breast problems in the future.
Consequently
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,
this
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 kind of learning is valuable to every woman.
In addition
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, all forms of prevention have a large impact to halt any disease since the spread of bacteria interfered with the process. Simple handwashing could be a great way on ending the transmission of bacterial and viral illnesses.
As a result
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, diseases can be prevented in different units of hospitals due to the
measures
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 that were implemented by the public. To conclude,
health
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 education and preventative
measures
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 are considered the major ways to obtain a quality and long life. Which in turn, is a great help to public survival.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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