IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

ii. #Health - "Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (IELTS 2, AC)

#ii #health #prevention #cure #country #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures #ielts #ac
A huge percentage of the nation's funds must be redirected from treatment to
health
 education expenditure and preventative
measures
. I totally agree with
this
 statement as the old maxim says prevention is better than cure. People who focus on treatment would like to save lives in front of them while disregarding the
health
 status of the majority.
For example
, for those cancer patients that need continuous chemotherapy, the government placed a high amount sum of money for their survival.
In addition
 to
this
, they agreed to fund different organizations pertaining to giving treatment rapidly.
Thus
, a number of citizens are ignoring how to educate and making precautionary
measures
 on the
health
 status of individuals. Others are agreeing on
health
 education since it would give full assistance for all citizens to obtain the knowledge that can be utilized for survival.
For instance
, conducting a lecture on breast self-examination to the public may aid a person to procure basic knowledge that could assist them in detecting lumps and avoiding breast problems in the future.
Consequently
,
this
 kind of learning is valuable to every woman.
In addition
, all forms of prevention have a large impact to halt any disease since the spread of bacteria interfered with the process. Simple handwashing could be a great way on ending the transmission of bacterial and viral illnesses.
As a result
, diseases can be prevented in different units of hospitals due to the
measures
 that were implemented by the public. To conclude,
health
 education and preventative
measures
 are considered the major ways to obtain a quality and long life. Which in turn, is a great help to public survival.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: