Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to team how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time #team

It is often said that it is beneficial for children to participate in team events during their leisure time, while others are against

this

statement. I believe it is better for teenagers to utilize their free time to socialize rather than

staying

Wrong verb form

stay

show examples

alone.

This

essay emphasizes

apply

Wrong verb form

applying

show examples

my viewpoint with valid illustrations. There are various benefits of participation in group events.

Firstly

, team

activities

help

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation to develop communication and problem-solving skills.

In other words

, the young ones would become more interactive and creative through outdoor group

activities

For instance

, relay races help to learn students how to work and collaborate to solve problems while working together.

Furthermore

, grouping with other people enhance social skill and would easily integrate with other people in societies in the future.

Lastly

, team sports

also

make teenagers mentally and physically strong. To elucidate it, they will feel more confident and independent at an early age, which eventually supports them in the

phase of life in difficult situations. On the other side of the coin, the opponents argue that it is better for kids to learn how to spend free time

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

own rather than doing

activities

together because of the problems they could face.

In other words

, many parents have been suffering frustration from their children after being bullied or mistreated.

For instance

, many studies prove that verbal or physical bullying from groups creates stress and other mental issues like depression which would affect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

academics and personal skills.

Therefore

, they encourage their young ones to develop individual skills like art or musical instrument. In conclusion, both points of view have their own justifications.

However

, I believe that participating in group

activities

might help the teenager to grow as a mature person at an early phase of life.

Submitted by tdpatel0 on Mon Dec 26 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to team how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in oder to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?