Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to team how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time #team

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It is often said that it is beneficial for children to participate in team events during their leisure time, while others are against

this

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statement. I believe it is better for teenagers to utilize their free time to socialize rather than

staying

Wrong verb form

stay

show examples

alone.

This

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essay emphasizes

apply

Wrong verb form

applying

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my viewpoint with valid illustrations. There are various benefits of participation in group events.

Firstly

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, team

activities

Use synonyms

help

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation to develop communication and problem-solving skills.

In other words

Linking Words

, the young ones would become more interactive and creative through outdoor group

activities

Use synonyms

For instance

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, relay races help to learn students how to work and collaborate to solve problems while working together.

Furthermore

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, grouping with other people enhance social skill and would easily integrate with other people in societies in the future.

Lastly

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, team sports

also

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make teenagers mentally and physically strong. To elucidate it, they will feel more confident and independent at an early age, which eventually supports them in the

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phase of life in difficult situations. On the other side of the coin, the opponents argue that it is better for kids to learn how to spend free time

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

own rather than doing

activities

Use synonyms

together because of the problems they could face.

In other words

Linking Words

, many parents have been suffering frustration from their children after being bullied or mistreated.

For instance

Linking Words

, many studies prove that verbal or physical bullying from groups creates stress and other mental issues like depression which would affect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

academics and personal skills.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they encourage their young ones to develop individual skills like art or musical instrument. In conclusion, both points of view have their own justifications.

However

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, I believe that participating in group

activities

Use synonyms

might help the teenager to grow as a mature person at an early phase of life.

Submitted by tdpatel0 on Mon Dec 26 2022

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to team how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Education should be free to all people and should be paid for and managed by the government. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shop using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will be happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

The rapid advancement of technology has significantly transformed various aspects of our lives. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this technological progress, and how can individuals and societies adapt to these changes?

Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?