Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to team how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time #team

It is often said that it is beneficial for children to participate in team events during their leisure time, while others are against

this

statement. I believe it is better for teenagers to utilize their free time to socialize rather than

staying

Wrong verb form

stay

show examples

alone.

This

essay emphasizes

apply

Wrong verb form

applying

show examples

my viewpoint with valid illustrations. There are various benefits of participation in group events.

Firstly

, team

activities

help

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation to develop communication and problem-solving skills.

In other words

, the young ones would become more interactive and creative through outdoor group

activities

For instance

, relay races help to learn students how to work and collaborate to solve problems while working together.

Furthermore

, grouping with other people enhance social skill and would easily integrate with other people in societies in the future.

Lastly

, team sports

also

make teenagers mentally and physically strong. To elucidate it, they will feel more confident and independent at an early age, which eventually supports them in the

phase of life in difficult situations. On the other side of the coin, the opponents argue that it is better for kids to learn how to spend free time

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

own rather than doing

activities

together because of the problems they could face.

In other words

, many parents have been suffering frustration from their children after being bullied or mistreated.

For instance

, many studies prove that verbal or physical bullying from groups creates stress and other mental issues like depression which would affect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

academics and personal skills.

Therefore

, they encourage their young ones to develop individual skills like art or musical instrument. In conclusion, both points of view have their own justifications.

However

, I believe that participating in group

activities

might help the teenager to grow as a mature person at an early phase of life.

Submitted by tdpatel0 on Mon Dec 26 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to team how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people think that the parents of children who commit crime should also receive a punishment . To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their needs, for example, for food and research. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruit and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people opposie it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is widely believed that consumerism is vital for the economic well-being of a country. However others feel that consumerism has unacceptable social consequences on a society. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.