Some people think children’s free time must include educational activities, otherwise they will waste their time. That is your opinion?

#people #children’s #time #activities #waste

Nowadays, someone believes that incorporating educational activities within children’s recreation is fundamental for not wasting

time

. In my opinion, youths’ leisure

time

must not be dedicated entirely

for

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show examples

learning new things, but

also

for

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show examples

relaxing

Correct pronoun usage

their mind

show examples

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

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without involving educational

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

. On the one hand, there is no doubt that including educational programs within the offspring’s routine has benefits. In fact, kids can enlarge their

knowledges

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knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

and skills meanwhile they are apparently only spending their

time

off.

For example

, an Italian child who watches cartoons in English

does

Unnecessary verb

apply

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not only enjoy his free

time

but

also

learns a new language.

Therefore

, if the spare

times

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time

show examples

are mixed with learning activities, it will allow to have children

with

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apply

show examples

an enriched portfolio of competencies enhancing their prospective career path.

On the other hand

, there are many reasons why I think young minds should be allowed to enjoy their leisure

time

without involving academic tasks.

Firstly

, imposing educational programs within all the spare moments and not having a break only dedicated to relaxing could cause stress accumulation.

Secondly

, having hobbies and interests not related to the intellectual field is crucial for restoring body and mind. It was definitely true

Change preposition

for

show examples

myself

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

during my primary school years since I felt relaxed and concentrated for the following week after I had chilled out walking around the river and

practiced

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practised

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swimming. In conclusion, I would say that learning activities made during

recreational

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the recreational

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time

are fundamental because help

minor

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minors

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

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improve

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

wealth of knowledge while

also

having fun.

Although

, for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental and physical

healthiness

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health

show examples

, juveniles

also

need moments of carefree relaxation.

Submitted by salvatore.mamone94 on Mon Dec 26 2022

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think children’s free time must include educational activities, otherwise they will waste their time. That is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this case? is it a positive or negative development?

Some people think that giving aid to the poor countries has more negative impacts than positive ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents think it is good to give their children mobile phones while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is impossible to help all people around the world in need so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?