Some people think children’s free time must include educational activities, otherwise they will waste their time. That is your opinion?

#people #children’s #time #activities #waste

Nowadays, someone believes that incorporating educational activities within children’s recreation is fundamental for not wasting

time

. In my opinion, youths’ leisure

time

must not be dedicated entirely

for

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learning new things, but

also

for

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relaxing

Correct pronoun usage

their mind

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mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

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without involving educational

task

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tasks

show examples

. On the one hand, there is no doubt that including educational programs within the offspring’s routine has benefits. In fact, kids can enlarge their

knowledges

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knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

and skills meanwhile they are apparently only spending their

time

off.

For example

, an Italian child who watches cartoons in English

does

Unnecessary verb

apply

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not only enjoy his free

time

but

also

learns a new language.

Therefore

, if the spare

times

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time

show examples

are mixed with learning activities, it will allow to have children

with

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apply

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an enriched portfolio of competencies enhancing their prospective career path.

On the other hand

, there are many reasons why I think young minds should be allowed to enjoy their leisure

time

without involving academic tasks.

Firstly

, imposing educational programs within all the spare moments and not having a break only dedicated to relaxing could cause stress accumulation.

Secondly

, having hobbies and interests not related to the intellectual field is crucial for restoring body and mind. It was definitely true

Change preposition

for

show examples

myself

Correct pronoun usage

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during my primary school years since I felt relaxed and concentrated for the following week after I had chilled out walking around the river and

practiced

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practised

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swimming. In conclusion, I would say that learning activities made during

recreational

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the recreational

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time

are fundamental because help

minor

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minors

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

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improve

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

wealth of knowledge while

also

having fun.

Although

, for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental and physical

healthiness

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health

show examples

, juveniles

also

need moments of carefree relaxation.

Submitted by salvatore.mamone94 on Mon Dec 26 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think children’s free time must include educational activities, otherwise they will waste their time. That is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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