Write a paragraph about the benefits of a personal device that is necessary for students’ study (120-150 words).

Smartphones are definitely one of the greatest inventions in the modern world. It makes our lives easier and is now essential for students’ study. There are two clear advantages of using
this
device for school.
Firstly
, it’s economical, so parents can buy it for their children without spending too much money.
Secondly
, thanks to advanced technology, it is getting faster and stronger. And it is really versatile, as it can be used for many purposes, including for education.
For instance
, students can take online courses and interact directly with their teachers. They can
also
research topics on the Web, which helps learners widen their knowledge.
Therefore
, more and more students are able to self-study and make a lot of progress. In conclusion, it is a wise choice for each student to own a smartphone because it is an indispensable personal device which brings a lot of benefits to their education.
Submitted by helenlpk on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more explicit in summarizing the content of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made to strengthen the arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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