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Band 7

Many people believe that big businesses in addition to generating profits should be involved in and responsible for the social life of the community. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#people #businesses #addition #profits #life #community
In recent decades, there is an argument that world-famous companies
such
 as Samsung or Apple should donate their profits to assist societies and communities.
Although
 it's not mandatory for big
businesses
 to help individuals' social life if the companies look after human beings, it will significantly affect nations' development in positive ways.
For example
, since the
Korea
 war took place in 1950, Samsung has led South
Korea
's economical advancements importantly. After the war happened, a higher employment rate and a better financial situation were achieved and
this
 situation enhanced South Korean citizens' social lives with stable salaries from
such
 big companies.
Furthermore
, Some
businesses
 in
Korea
 have donated massive amounts of wealth to increase South
Korea
's living environment. Other people claim that the role of improving society and community is the government's duty ,not a huge company's responsibility.
For instance
, Even though high taxable payment exists in Australia, the people in the nation are pleased with acquiring the government's payback systems
such
 as tax return, job seeker payment or Covid-19 payment because they can take
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 back when they actually need the money. In these ways, the society of Australia was able to reach an uprising satisfaction rate. In conclusion, in my opinion, it is comparatively essential that often governments require big
businesses
 to provide financial assistance when they face an economical crises for individuals.
Thus
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly agree with the notion that if
businesses
 make profits by selling products to society, they should be responsible for the social life of the community.
Submitted by mix5777 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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