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Band 3.5

Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
In
this
 21st century, technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 developed drastically and contributed to the different changes happening around us today.
This
 can lead to addiction and excessive usage of different gadgets
such
 as smartphones, which is
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 common among children.
This
 essay will be discussing the reason for
this
 trending issue, the merits and demerits together with my opinion.
Firstly
, adolescents and teenagers
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to
use
 mobile
phones
 often because of the things they find entertaining in them
such
 as games,movies and animations or cartoons, which can have negative or positive impacts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their developmental stage.
Furthermore
, there are several disadvantages of frequent
use
 of
phones
 which includes distraction from studies and not having time to socialize with other family members.
For instance
,
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 buy their
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
phones
 for calls but
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 the kids
use
 the opportunity to play online games and
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
 cartoons.
However
, the advantages of
phones
includes
Change the verb form
include
show examples
, expanding the child's thinking ability by downloading games
such
 as puzzle and scrabble which are
brain storming
Correct your spelling
brainstorming
show examples
 which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 increase their spelling and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
know and learn
life
Add an article
a life
show examples
 lesson from the educational movies they watched. To sum up, I think it is a positive development,
although
 with parental guidance to direct and regulate the
use
phones
Change preposition
of phones
show examples
 and
also
 help them make the best choices on what they should
engaged
Change the verb form
engage
show examples
 in online.
Submitted by enaughetheresa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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