Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

this

21st century, technology

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

developed drastically and contributed to the different changes happening around us today.

This

can lead to addiction and excessive usage of different gadgets

such

as smartphones, which is

mostly

Replace the word

most

show examples

common among children.

This

essay will be discussing the reason for

this

trending issue, the merits and demerits together with my opinion.

Firstly

, adolescents and teenagers

tends

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tend

show examples

use

mobile

phones

often because of the things they find entertaining in them

such

as games,movies and animations or cartoons, which can have negative or positive impacts

Change preposition

show examples

their developmental stage.

Furthermore

, there are several disadvantages of frequent

use

phones

which includes distraction from studies and not having time to socialize with other family members.

For instance

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

buy their

kids

Change to a genitive case

kid's

kids'

show examples

phones

for calls but

instead

Add a comma

,instead

show examples

the kids

use

the opportunity to play online games and

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

cartoons.

However

, the advantages of

phones

includes

Change the verb form

include

show examples

, expanding the child's thinking ability by downloading games

such

as puzzle and scrabble which are

brain storming

Correct your spelling

brainstorming

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

also

help

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helps

show examples

increase their spelling and

making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

know and learn

life

Add an article

a life

show examples

lesson from the educational movies they watched. To sum up, I think it is a positive development,

although

with parental guidance to direct and regulate the

use

phones

Change preposition

of phones

show examples

and

also

help them make the best choices on what they should

engaged

Change the verb form

engage

show examples

in online.

Submitted by enaughetheresa on Tue Dec 27 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

224 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

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