IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

#families
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Family members have been facing emotional and physical distance despite the blood relativity and genetic connections, which can possibly constitute an effect on the
member
Change noun form
member's
show examples
 social and communication skills.
However
, in
this
 essay, I will illustrate the possible causes of
this
 issue and find a suitable solution to solve the problem as well.
Firstly
, parents are the most responsible for creating a warm and loving atmosphere in the house, it is basically their function. Uneducated parents could possibly be clueless about the significance and value of family communication;
therefore
, they will pass
this
 method on to their children.
On the other hand
, some children grew up in a household where they
overestimate
Wrong verb form
overestimated
show examples
 the concept of family gatherings, but they were separated for certain circumstances
such
 as job opportunities or college. In fact, special memories are what keep the family members connected and inseparable.
However
, creating new annual traditions for the family will perhaps improve their emotional connection.
Or sharing
Correct word choice
Sharing
show examples
 a meal together once in a
while
 will surely help as well.
Nevertheless
, several families are separated for serious problems,
for example
, personal trauma, emotional and physical abuse and social anxiety, in
this
 case, they should consider therapy sessions or talking to someone who is
Correct article usage
a
show examples
professional
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 mental health. In conclusion, permanent
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
 with your family
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
important, even the prophet Mohammad emphasized the importance of family reunion,
that is
 why we should try to make an effort in order to build healthy relationships with our family members despite our disagreement
Submitted by Layanosama on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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