The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

World
Correct article usage
The world
show examples
has been changing since the beginning of
it’s
Replace the word
its
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birth and every era or century has
it’s
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its
show examples
own trends. In
course
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the course
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of
time
Add a comma
time,
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those trends replaced with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new trends and eras
changed
Verb problem
apply
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, but there is a new trend and it looks like it is not going to be replaced with any other thing in the future, they call that
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
online shopping. Nowadays
people
say that online shopping will demolish
shops
in
cities
and towns, I totally agree with that and
next
Correct article usage
the next
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paragraphs will explain in detail why
enormous
Correct article usage
the enormous
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power of online shopping won’t be beaten. 
First
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The first
A first
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and most important reason
of
Change preposition
for
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growing online shopping is money, when any
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
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price is compared between the physical store and online store it can be clearly stated that online
shops
are cheaper and
pocket friendly
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pocket-friendly
show examples
. It can be explained
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
two main factors,
first
Correct article usage
the first
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one
is rent and the other
one
is customer numbers.
Phyiscal
Correct your spelling
Physical
stores will continue to pay rent to be able to
making
Change the verb
make
show examples
sales and they will continue to serve
same
Change the article
a same
the same
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number of customers,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
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online stores do not pay for rent and they’re reachable by anyone who lives on earth.
High
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A high
The high
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number of customers and low business running costs
let
Verb problem
allow
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online shopping sales channels to keep prices lower than physical stores and most
people
always choose the cheaper
one
, that rule never changes and applies to all. Money is again
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reason why
shops
in towns and
cities
are swallowed by online shopping channels
,
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apply
show examples
but
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
a different perspective.
People
don’t have to get up from their couches anymore when they order something through
web
Correct article usage
the web
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and
it’s
extremely
cost effective
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cost-effective
show examples
for online shoppers. If a party
assumed
Wrong verb form
assumes
show examples
that is
going to buy any product from
local
Add an article
a local
the local
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store, here are things that
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
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needs to do, driving is the first phase of it, and increasing gas prices and traffic jams in
cities
indirectly make any goods cost higher.
Second
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The second
show examples
phase is parking cost and
it’s
not an ignorable
one
.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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s/he couldn’t find a chance to compare the prices or get
benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
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from any promotions which are
higly
Correct your spelling
highly
common in online shopping. Previous paragraphs explained why online shopping can’t be beaten and the effects of it will be discussed here. Dead
cities
will be rising in the future
it’s
the result of
chain
Correct article usage
the chain
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effect. When local
shops
starts
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start
show examples
to close in a town or city
due to
less income,
government
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the government
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will start to lose a big portion of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
tax income and when it happens they won’t make any investments
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the area and job
opportunuties
Correct your spelling
opportunities
for
people
will drop and
people
will look for new
opportunuties
Correct your spelling
opportunities
in
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
show examples
to feed their families or itself.
Less
Change the quantifier
Fewer
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people
means
less customer
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer customers
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for local
shops
and the effect of that chain constantly doubles itself.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, no
one
can stand in front of online shopping,
no
Correct word choice
and no
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one
is able to stop
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
popularity and power anymore,
unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
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all counted effects of it will
be rise
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rise
show examples
in
near
Correct article usage
the near
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future and hopefully the result of it won’t be
devastated
Replace the word
devastating
show examples
for any of us.
Submitted by karayilanoglu35 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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