The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?
World
has been changing since the beginning of Correct article usage
The world
it’s
birth and every era or century has Replace the word
its
it’s
own trends. In Replace the word
its
course
of Correct article usage
the course
time
those trends replaced with Add a comma
time,
the
new trends and erasCorrect article usage
apply
changed
, but there is a new trend and it looks like it is not going to be replaced with any other thing in the future, they call that Verb problem
apply
an
online shopping. Nowadays Remove the article
apply
people
say that online shopping will demolish shops
in cities
and towns, I totally agree with that and next
paragraphs will explain in detail why Correct article usage
the next
enormous
power of online shopping won’t be beaten. Correct article usage
the enormous
First
and most important reason Add an article
The first
A first
of
growing online shopping is money, when any Change preposition
for
goods
price is compared between the physical store and online store it can be clearly stated that online Fix the agreement mistake
good
shops
are cheaper and pocket friendly
. It can be explained Add a hyphen
pocket-friendly
with
two main factors, Change preposition
by
first
Correct article usage
the first
one
is rent and the other one
is customer numbers. Phyiscal
stores will continue to pay rent to be able to Correct your spelling
Physical
making
sales and they will continue to serve Change the verb
make
same
number of customers, Change the article
a same
the same
on the other
hand
online stores do not pay for rent and they’re reachable by anyone who lives on earth. Add the comma(s)
hand,
High
number of customers and low business running costs Change the article
A high
The high
let
online shopping sales channels to keep prices lower than physical stores and most Verb problem
allow
people
always choose the cheaper one
, that rule never changes and applies to all. Money is again an
another reason why Remove the article
apply
shops
in towns and cities
are swallowed by online shopping channels,
but Remove the comma
apply
in
a different perspective. Change preposition
from
People
don’t have to get up from their couches anymore when they order something through web
and Correct article usage
the web
it’s
extremely cost effective
for online shoppers. If a party Add a hyphen
cost-effective
assumed
Wrong verb form
assumes
that is
going to buy any product from local
store, here are things that Add an article
a local
the local
individual
needs to do, driving is the first phase of it, and increasing gas prices and traffic jams in Correct article usage
an individual
cities
indirectly make any goods cost higher. Second
phase is parking cost and Change the article
The second
it’s
not an ignorable one
. Furthermore
s/he couldn’t find a chance to compare the prices or get Add a comma
Furthermore,
benefited
from any promotions which are Wrong verb form
benefit
higly
common in online shopping. Previous paragraphs explained why online shopping can’t be beaten and the effects of it will be discussed here. Dead Correct your spelling
highly
cities
will be rising in the future it’s
the result of chain
effect. When local Correct article usage
the chain
shops
starts
to close in a town or city Change the verb form
start
due to
less income, government
will start to lose a big portion of Add an article
the government
their
tax income and when it happens they won’t make any investments Correct pronoun usage
its
to
the area and job Change preposition
in
opportunuties
for Correct your spelling
opportunities
people
will drop and people
will look for new opportunuties
in Correct your spelling
opportunities
another places
to feed their families or itself. Replace the adjective
another place
other places
Less
Change the quantifier
Fewer
people
means less customer
for local Fix the agreement mistake
fewer customers
shops
and the effect of that chain constantly doubles itself. As
Change preposition
In
a
conclusion, no Correct article usage
apply
one
can stand in front of online shopping, no
Correct word choice
and no
one
is able to stop it’s
popularity and power anymore, Correct your spelling
its
unfortunately
all counted effects of it will Add a comma
unfortunately,
be rise
in Change the verb form
rise
near
future and hopefully the result of it won’t be Correct article usage
the near
devastated
for any of us.Replace the word
devastating
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite