IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

World
Correct article usage
The world
show examples
 has been changing since the beginning of
Use synonyms
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 birth and every era or century has
Use synonyms
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 own trends. In
course
Correct article usage
the course
show examples
 of
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 those trends replaced with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new trends and eras
changed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, but there is a new trend and it looks like it is not going to be replaced with any other thing in the future, they call that
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
online shopping. Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 say that online shopping will demolish
shops
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 and towns, I totally agree with that and
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 paragraphs will explain in detail why
enormous
Correct article usage
the enormous
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 power of online shopping won’t be beaten. 
First
Add an article
The first
A first
show examples
 and most important reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 growing online shopping is money, when any
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
show examples
 price is compared between the physical store and online store it can be clearly stated that online
shops
Use synonyms
 are cheaper and
pocket friendly
Add a hyphen
pocket-friendly
show examples
. It can be explained
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 two main factors,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 is rent and the other
one
Use synonyms
 is customer numbers.
Phyiscal
Correct your spelling
Physical
 stores will continue to pay rent to be able to
making
Change the verb
make
show examples
sales and they will continue to serve
same
Change the article
a same
the same
show examples
 number of customers,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
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 online stores do not pay for rent and they’re reachable by anyone who lives on earth.
High
Change the article
A high
The high
show examples
 number of customers and low business running costs
let
Verb problem
allow
show examples
 online shopping sales channels to keep prices lower than physical stores and most
people
Use synonyms
 always choose the cheaper
one
Use synonyms
, that rule never changes and applies to all. Money is again
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reason why
shops
Use synonyms
 in towns and
cities
Use synonyms
 are swallowed by online shopping channels
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a different perspective.
People
Use synonyms
 don’t have to get up from their couches anymore when they order something through
web
Correct article usage
the web
show examples
 and
it’s
Use synonyms
 extremely
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
 for online shoppers. If a party
assumed
Wrong verb form
assumes
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 going to buy any product from
local
Add an article
a local
the local
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 store, here are things that
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
 needs to do, driving is the first phase of it, and increasing gas prices and traffic jams in
cities
Use synonyms
 indirectly make any goods cost higher.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 phase is parking cost and
it’s
Use synonyms
 not an ignorable
one
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 s/he couldn’t find a chance to compare the prices or get
benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
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from any promotions which are
higly
Correct your spelling
highly
 common in online shopping. Previous paragraphs explained why online shopping can’t be beaten and the effects of it will be discussed here. Dead
cities
Use synonyms
 will be rising in the future
it’s
Use synonyms
 the result of
chain
Correct article usage
the chain
show examples
 effect. When local
shops
Use synonyms
starts
Change the verb form
start
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 to close in a town or city
due to
Linking Words
 less income,
government
Add an article
the government
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 will start to lose a big portion of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 tax income and when it happens they won’t make any investments
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the area and job
opportunuties
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for
people
Use synonyms
 will drop and
people
Use synonyms
 will look for new
opportunuties
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
show examples
 to feed their families or itself.
Less
Change the quantifier
Fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 means
less customer
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer customers
show examples
 for local
shops
Use synonyms
 and the effect of that chain constantly doubles itself.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, no
one
Use synonyms
 can stand in front of online shopping,
no
Correct word choice
and no
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 is able to stop
Use synonyms
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
popularity and power anymore,
unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
show examples
 all counted effects of it will
be rise
Change the verb form
rise
show examples
 in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future and hopefully the result of it won’t be
devastated
Replace the word
devastating
show examples
 for any of us.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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