The United Nations recently celebrated its 70th anniversary. What benefits has it brought during this time? Do you think the UN will last another 70 years?

Peace
and prosperity are only possible in the modern
world
through a multilateral approach.United Nations was one
such
approach,when countries across the
world
joined hands,opening their eyes to the terrors of wars.It has been successful in playing its role
to maintain
Change preposition
in maintaining
show examples
world
peace
,for the most part at least and raising voices successfully for human
rights
.
Nonetheless
,I do not think it will
last
another 70 years
due to
its current state of unjust
power
distribution.
To begin
with, the UN was established with the purpose of restoring
peace
after the Second
World
War,and it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
a success,mostly.UN has intervened in major
world
conflicts and caused cease-fire between them preventing massive losses of lives.
For instance
,one
such
cease-fire was signed under the UN
security council
Correct your spelling
Security Council
show examples
resolution on the Kashmir issue,between India and Pakistan and a line of control was demarcated among them preventing
further
escalation.
Hence
,
this
multi-lateral initiative has been successful in achieving
world
peace
.
Similarly
, the UN has successfully raised voices for human
rights
across the globe.
Furthermore
,it has
also
sent its
peace
-keeping missions to the countries where violations of human
rights
were taking place.
For example
,Bosnia was in chaotic conditions when UN peacekeepers took control and prevented
further
crimes against humanity.
Thus
,upholding human
rights
has been another achievement of the UN. To be honest,I do not think
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Nations would
last
another 70 years,the reason being the lack of uniform distribution of
power
.The Security Council
,
Remove the comma
apply
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is the reservoir of
power
in the
world
and is controlled by only some of the most powerful states that prioritise their own national interests over the
world
.To explain with an example,the occupation of Palestine is an issue unresolved
due to
the vested interests of some states.
Therefore
,I do not think
this
initiative may
last
long. To summarise,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Nations has been successful in achieving
peace
and has upheld human
rights
,for the better part at least.
Nonetheless
, the concentration of
power
with only a few powerful states may be a cause for its downfall.
Submitted by saphire8619 on

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task response
Ensure a balanced consideration when discussing both the success and limitations of the UN. Support your arguments with specific examples and evidence. Consider the question from different perspectives to provide a comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on developing stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion. Use transition words to link ideas and create a more cohesive structure.

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