The United Nations recently celebrated its 70th anniversary. What benefits has it brought during this time? Do you think the UN will last another 70 years?

#nations #anniversary #time #years

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Peace

and prosperity are only possible in the modern

world

through a multilateral approach.United Nations was one

such

approach,when countries across the

world

joined hands,opening their eyes to the terrors of wars.It has been successful in playing its role

to maintain

Change preposition

in maintaining

show examples

world

peace

,for the most part at least and raising voices successfully for human

rights

Nonetheless

,I do not think it will

last

another 70 years

due to

its current state of unjust

power

distribution.

To begin

with, the UN was established with the purpose of restoring

peace

after the Second

World

War,and it

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

a success,mostly.UN has intervened in major

world

conflicts and caused cease-fire between them preventing massive losses of lives.

For instance

,one

such

cease-fire was signed under the UN

security council

Correct your spelling

Security Council

show examples

resolution on the Kashmir issue,between India and Pakistan and a line of control was demarcated among them preventing

further

escalation.

Hence

this

multi-lateral initiative has been successful in achieving

world

peace

Similarly

, the UN has successfully raised voices for human

rights

across the globe.

Furthermore

,it has

also

sent its

peace

-keeping missions to the countries where violations of human

rights

were taking place.

For example

,Bosnia was in chaotic conditions when UN peacekeepers took control and prevented

further

crimes against humanity.

Thus

,upholding human

rights

has been another achievement of the UN. To be honest,I do not think

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

Nations would

last

another 70 years,the reason being the lack of uniform distribution of

power

.The Security Council

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is the reservoir of

power

in the

world

and is controlled by only some of the most powerful states that prioritise their own national interests over the

world

.To explain with an example,the occupation of Palestine is an issue unresolved

due to

the vested interests of some states.

Therefore

,I do not think

this

initiative may

last

long. To summarise,

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

Nations has been successful in achieving

peace

and has upheld human

rights

,for the better part at least.

Nonetheless

, the concentration of

power

with only a few powerful states may be a cause for its downfall.

Submitted by saphire8619 on Wed Dec 28 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure a balanced consideration when discussing both the success and limitations of the UN. Support your arguments with specific examples and evidence. Consider the question from different perspectives to provide a comprehensive response.

coherence and cohesion

The essay demonstrates a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on developing stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion. Use transition words to link ideas and create a more cohesive structure.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

320 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In some countries, small town-centre shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?
In many countries the world over, small shops in city centers cannot compete with large stores that are based on the outskirts; therefore, many of those small businesses are threatened with closure. This leads to a number of consequences, including a rise in car usage in these countries and access to large out-of-town stores becoming limited for those without cars. In my view, this change does more harm than good.
7.5
band
Children are facing more pressures from academic, social and commercial sources. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce it?
These days, a number of children are encountering more pressures from academic, social and financial problems. one of the main reasons for this is the influence of social media leading to peer pressure and unrealistic standards. To tackle this issue, children should not spend too much time on social media.
6.5
band
In many countries, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, plastic containers are widely used by food and drink companies all around the world. I personally believe that the negative points of using plastic are more than the advantages of that.
<4
band
The topic of renewable energy is widely discussed these days. What are the main reasons behind the increasing use of renewable energy sources, and is this trend a positive or negative development for the environment?
Renewable energy is a trending words these days. From head of states' speeches to car advertisements have some degree of the sense about the importance of this idea. The main concern behind this trend is the pollution cause by hidrocarbon fuel. The other factor contributes to renewable energy policy is the depletion of oil and gas.
7
band
Some pople think that wild animals should not be kept in Zoos. Others, believe that there are good reasons of having Zoos. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Keeping animals in the zoological areas is accepted by some people, however, others think it is a wrong decision to relocate the animal's habitat. Both approaches have logical reasons which I want to address in my essay.

The United Nations recently celebrated its 70th anniversary. What benefits has it brought during this time? Do you think the UN will last another 70 years?

Children are facing more pressures from academic, social and commercial sources. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce it?

In many countries, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The topic of renewable energy is widely discussed these days. What are the main reasons behind the increasing use of renewable energy sources, and is this trend a positive or negative development for the environment?

Some pople think that wild animals should not be kept in Zoos. Others, believe that there are good reasons of having Zoos. Discuss both views and give your opinion.