IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #companies #job #applicants #age #development
Some countries have a policy of not accepting potential workers due to their
age
, which can be either too young or too old.
Although
 it might seem justifiable for a reason to reject
job
 applicants for their
age
, I personally believe that it is a change for the better. On the one hand, it might be argued that turning down a potential employee owing to their
age
 is not simply profitable for business owners.
This
 is evidenced by different productivity levels at different ages.
For example
, a young child (who is 14 years old) or an elderly person (who is 65) is unlikely to excel at performing the duties of an employee whose
job
 is
labor-intensive
Change the spelling
labour-intensive
show examples
,
such
 as construction. Even if they have the capability to work for the entire shift, their productivity is nowhere near as high as
someone’s
Unnecessary verb
someone
show examples
 who is in the prime,
for example
, at the
age
 of 25. Despite the argument above, in my opinion,
this
 policy should be seen as progress.
Firstly
,
age
 is just a number, and if a candidate is a right fit for the
job
,
then
 they should be hired because being young or old doesn’t necessarily mean that you are incapable.
From my
Change preposition
My
show examples
 personal experience, I started my teaching career at the
age
 of 15, and I have helped a large number of students learn English in a
years’
Change noun form
year’s
show examples
 time. The same applies to senior
job
 applicants, who are sure that they can cope with the responsibilities. My grandfather is a clear case in point,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at his current
age
 of 65 is perfectly managing the finances of our family business.
Therefore
, because having
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
employment is a basic human right, everybody ought to be presented with equal opportunities to have one. In conclusion, while employing people who are too young or too old might not make financial sense to employers, I believe that everyone should have equal employment chances no matter their
age
, as long as they are suitable for the
job
.
Submitted by jefnesbit on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • age diversity
  • combat age discrimination
  • job opportunities
  • experienced individuals
  • vast knowledge
  • suboptimal hiring decisions
  • legal compliance
  • reverse discrimination
  • operational costs
  • health insurance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: