Many people like to go on holiday abroad, while others believe it is better to visit places within their own country. Discuss boh views and give your own opinion.

#people #holiday #visit #places #country #boh

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Nowadays, travelling abroad during long holidays has become increasingly popular. Some people prefer to visit other countries,

while

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others including me reckon that travelling in the nation is much better. In the essay, the reason

to prefer

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for preferring

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the latter statement will be presented before my conclusion is reached. The first disadvantage of travelling to other countries is the higher cost compared with national travel. As they need to pay for the additional

expense

Fix the agreement mistake

expenses

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including plane tickets, hotel, taxi, and many more, it makes the total cost of travel expenses.

For example

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, only a plane ticket for flying from Bangkok, Thailand to Amsterdam, the Netherlands costs around 50,000 Baht per person, and the hotel price per night is approximately 6,000 Bath, and there are other expenses

such

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as food, transportation, and entrance tickets for visiting museums or landmarks, which are almost 5 times more expensive than Thailand.

Furthermore

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, it takes a long period

for travelling

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to travel

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oversea

Correct your spelling

overseas

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. If tourists have a holiday for 7 days, it takes 2 days to be on a plane to the Netherlands.

Therefore

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, travellers have less time to enjoy the cultures and cities.

Besides

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the drawbacks of

oversea

Fix the agreement mistake

overseas

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travel, there are numerous benefits for

stay

Wrong verb form

staying

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in the nation.

To begin

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, the cost spending for the trip is a lot cheaper than going

to aboard

Rephrase

abroad

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. An individual can have dinner in a Michelin-star restaurant and stay in a

five stars

Correct your spelling

five-star

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hotel in Thailand by paying the same amount of money to have meals at convenience stores and sleep at motels in Europe.

Moreover

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, travelling in the nation

enable to stimulate

Verb problem

stimulates

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the national economy. it helps residents in the local areas have more income, which is considered a circular economy.

For instance

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, those who live near tourist destinations can generate money by selling souvenirs, food, and services.

Hence

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this

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is another way to improve the well-being of people in the community. In conclusion, going to other countries for holidays is not the best idea for relaxation because people can save enormous money by travelling inside the country. From my perspective, I prefer to stay in my home country as I am broke.

Submitted by chutirat.work on Wed Dec 28 2022

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear, but they lack depth and originality. Work on providing a more engaging and insightful introduction and conclusion.

task response

You have addressed the task of discussing both views and giving your opinion. However, make sure to present a more balanced discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion. Additionally, provide more extensive support for your opinion.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

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Many people like to go on holiday abroad, while others believe it is better to visit places within their own country. Discuss boh views and give your own opinion.

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter, say which part-time course you booked explain why you need to cancel your booking ask about booking a different course

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Many young people change their jobs or careers every few years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?