Many people like to go on holiday abroad, while others believe it is better to visit places within their own country. Discuss boh views and give your own opinion.

#people #holiday #visit #places #country #boh

Nowadays, travelling abroad during long holidays has become increasingly popular. Some people prefer to visit other countries,

while

others including me reckon that travelling in the nation is much better. In the essay, the reason

to prefer

Change preposition

for preferring

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the latter statement will be presented before my conclusion is reached. The first disadvantage of travelling to other countries is the higher cost compared with national travel. As they need to pay for the additional

expense

Fix the agreement mistake

expenses

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including plane tickets, hotel, taxi, and many more, it makes the total cost of travel expenses.

For example

, only a plane ticket for flying from Bangkok, Thailand to Amsterdam, the Netherlands costs around 50,000 Baht per person, and the hotel price per night is approximately 6,000 Bath, and there are other expenses

such

as food, transportation, and entrance tickets for visiting museums or landmarks, which are almost 5 times more expensive than Thailand.

Furthermore

, it takes a long period

for travelling

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to travel

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oversea

Correct your spelling

overseas

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. If tourists have a holiday for 7 days, it takes 2 days to be on a plane to the Netherlands.

Therefore

, travellers have less time to enjoy the cultures and cities.

Besides

the drawbacks of

oversea

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overseas

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travel, there are numerous benefits for

stay

Wrong verb form

staying

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in the nation.

To begin

, the cost spending for the trip is a lot cheaper than going

to aboard

Rephrase

abroad

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. An individual can have dinner in a Michelin-star restaurant and stay in a

five stars

Correct your spelling

five-star

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hotel in Thailand by paying the same amount of money to have meals at convenience stores and sleep at motels in Europe.

Moreover

, travelling in the nation

enable to stimulate

Verb problem

stimulates

show examples

the national economy. it helps residents in the local areas have more income, which is considered a circular economy.

For instance

, those who live near tourist destinations can generate money by selling souvenirs, food, and services.

Hence

this

is another way to improve the well-being of people in the community. In conclusion, going to other countries for holidays is not the best idea for relaxation because people can save enormous money by travelling inside the country. From my perspective, I prefer to stay in my home country as I am broke.

Submitted by chutirat.work on Wed Dec 28 2022

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear, but they lack depth and originality. Work on providing a more engaging and insightful introduction and conclusion.

task response

You have addressed the task of discussing both views and giving your opinion. However, make sure to present a more balanced discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion. Additionally, provide more extensive support for your opinion.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

353 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people like to go on holiday abroad, while others believe it is better to visit places within their own country. Discuss boh views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where the did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

extinction of animals due to habitat destruction and pollutants

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.