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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what step can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

#life #improvements #health #people #age #sixty-five #lives #step #society #benefit #contribution
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Our parents and grandparents are full of experiences and
knowledge
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 which they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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learnt from their life.
There
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Their
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 precious suggestions and guidance from their life experiences is very essential for all of us to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 admires and for
betterment
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the betterment
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 of
society
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 too. In upcoming paragraphs, understand
it's
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its
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necessity
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a necessity
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.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the priceless suggestions and
strageties
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strategies
 to run the
bussiness
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business
,
family
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and family
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 and maintain stability in
working
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the working
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field
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 these all are gained my
age
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, and as a learner, we all need
people
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 in our
society
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 who
full
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are full
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 of
experiences
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experience
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 in every
field
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 who check and instruct
to
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apply
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individuals.
For example
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, 70
percent
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per cent
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 of
businessmann
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businessman
businessmen
 and stock
market
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markets
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having
Wrong verb form
have
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 of
age
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 above 70 because of their long experience in
single
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the single
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field
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 come up with
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a
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wide range of
knowledge
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 and secrets in that particular
field
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 which
are
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is
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 not
eventhough
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even though
 taught in the
universitites
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universities
 nor in the books
,
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apply
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 but gained from practical
knowledge
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. Not only that
,
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apply
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 but most importantly the contribution of older
people
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 in the
field
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 of organ donation is
also
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 increased rapidly. 40 years ago,
this
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 was not the case, but now in
these
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this day
these days
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day
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,day
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 80
percent
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per cent
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 of
older
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the older
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 masses already signed
on
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 agreement of donating their
desire
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desired
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 part of the body to someone in
this
Linking Words
society
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 who needs it.
This
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 is
incredible
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an incredible
the incredible
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 step taken by our old
age
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people
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 to give
the
Correct article usage
a
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 better life to someone and keeps
the
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apply
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society
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 happy and healthy. In conclusion, older
people
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helps
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help
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to
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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 in every way either in
context
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the context
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 of
knowledge
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, guidance or in the way of donations.
Society
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 will always get fruitful results from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
age
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people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Jott on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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