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Band 4.5

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what step can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

#life #improvements #health #people #age #sixty-five #lives #step #society #benefit #contribution
Our parents and grandparents are full of experiences and
knowledge
 which they
were
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apply
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learnt from their life.
There
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Their
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 precious suggestions and guidance from their life experiences is very essential for all of us to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 admires and for
betterment
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the betterment
show examples
 of
society
 too. In upcoming paragraphs, understand
it's
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its
show examples
necessity
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a necessity
show examples
.
First
 of all, the priceless suggestions and
strageties
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strategies
 to run the
bussiness
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business
,
family
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and family
show examples
 and maintain stability in
working
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the working
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field
 these all are gained my
age
, and as a learner, we all need
people
 in our
society
 who
full
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are full
show examples
 of
experiences
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experience
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 in every
field
 who check and instruct
to
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apply
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individuals.
For example
, 70
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of
businessmann
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businessman
businessmen
 and stock
market
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markets
show examples
having
Wrong verb form
have
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the
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apply
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people
 of
age
 above 70 because of their long experience in
single
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the single
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field
 come up with
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a
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wide range of
knowledge
 and secrets in that particular
field
 which
are
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is
show examples
 not
eventhough
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even though
 taught in the
universitites
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universities
 nor in the books
,
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apply
show examples
 but gained from practical
knowledge
. Not only that
,
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apply
show examples
 but most importantly the contribution of older
people
 in the
field
 of organ donation is
also
 increased rapidly. 40 years ago,
this
 was not the case, but now in
these
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this day
these days
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day
Add a comma
,day
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 80
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of
older
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the older
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 masses already signed
on
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 agreement of donating their
desire
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desired
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 part of the body to someone in
this
society
 who needs it.
This
 is
incredible
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an incredible
the incredible
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 step taken by our old
age
people
 to give
the
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a
show examples
 better life to someone and keeps
the
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apply
show examples
society
 happy and healthy. In conclusion, older
people
helps
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help
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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society
 in every way either in
context
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the context
show examples
 of
knowledge
, guidance or in the way of donations.
Society
 will always get fruitful results from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
age
people
.
Submitted by Jott on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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