Some people think government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The education
Correct article usage
Education
show examples
plays a vital role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
and process. Some people argued that the
government
should invest more money in science and
technology
subjects
rather than other
subjects
. In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
the
government
should
focuson
Correct your spelling
focus on
both
subjects
to
devloped
Correct your spelling
develop
their
nation
. I will give
explanation
Add an article
an explanation
the explanation
show examples
in the ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand, in the modern era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
innovation has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spread in every field.
The developing
Correct article usage
Developing
show examples
countries
have less
technology
equipment
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
compered
Correct your spelling
compared
show examples
to developed
countries
.
Therefore
, the
government
should invest more in teaching science
subjects
in developing provinces. The
scienceis
Correct your spelling
sciences
science is
help to give job opportunity and its skills
also
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
overseas education.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
scienceis
Correct your spelling
science is
sciences
a
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
automation, so,
producation
Correct your spelling
production
would
increased
Change the verb form
increase
be increased
show examples
and
also
rise income.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
has improved agriculture industry
producation
Correct your spelling
production
in India. The machinery takes
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
by
Add an article
a human
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. So,
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
show examples
ratio would
increased
Change the verb form
increase
be increased
show examples
.
Similarly
, income will
significantlyrise
Correct your spelling
significantly rise
, because,
producation
Correct your spelling
production
and income are directly proportional to each other.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed
countries
need to improve
their
Change the word
the
show examples
cultural part of
nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
.
Therefore
, the developed
country
's
government
should invest in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
subjects
such
as
histroy
Correct your spelling
history
,
soprts
Correct your spelling
sports
and
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
subjects
which
attrect
Correct your spelling
attract
to children. The developed
countries
had already advanced
technology
so, they focus on other
subjects
.
For instance
, the developed
country
the USA had advancement in all
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people who
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
in the USA
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not know about
Correct article usage
the histroy
show examples
histroy
Correct your spelling
history
or
cultureof
Correct your spelling
culture of
culture
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
part of
continant
Correct your spelling
continent
. In conclusion, the
ivest
Correct your spelling
invest
in particular
part which depend on
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
development. The
government
should invest in
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
sector that
grow
Change the verb form
grows
show examples
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing
country
need to know about
technology
by teaching science
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
schooling time.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • holistic development
  • technological advancements
  • critical thinking
  • cultural awareness
  • sustainable development
  • return on investment (ROI)
  • global competitiveness
  • job market
  • equitable education
  • funding allocation
  • curriculum balance
  • civic responsibilities
  • interdisciplinary approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: