IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

People living in large cities today face many problems in they everyday life.what are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

#people #cities #face #life #governments #move #towns
Nowadays
people
 who are living in mega cities confront with myriad troubles in daily life.living in
congested
Add an article
the congested
show examples
 area have a lot of disadvantages
such
 as
air
 pollution and lack of good housing. So government should motivate folk to move to
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
.
To begin
 with,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 and foremost problem is
air
 pollution. It is important to have various types of transportation in
metropolis
Add an article
the metropolis
a metropolis
show examples
 that leads to
Correct article usage
the spread
show examples
spread
Change the verb form
spreading
show examples
black
Change preposition
of black
show examples
 smoke in the
air
.
therefore
, it arises different types of respiratory diseases.
For example
,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 who lives in
crowded
Add an article
the crowded
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 has more asthma and lung cancer
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 with
people
 living in
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
show examples
.
Moreover
, authorities have to supply extra houses for the increased
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who might
dwel
Correct your spelling
dwell
well
 in open places or slums. To solve these above troubles,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should motivate
people
 to transfer to
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
. If society
immigrate
Change the verb form
immigrates
show examples
 to
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
,they will not face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
air
 contamination.
as a result
 they do not get respiratory diseases.
Besides
 that,
people
 could have
convenient
Add an article
a convenient
show examples
 and healthy life in
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
although
 they do not have modern housing facilities.
For instance
, they would be able to grow crops easily and eat healthy food.eventually,
this
 would help them to live healthier and touch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. In conclusion,
people
 living in
an astronomical cities
Correct the article-noun agreement
astronomical cities
an astronomical city
show examples
 struggle with hassles
such
 as
air
 pollution and lack of housing facilities.
Hence
,authorities should persuade
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 to move to
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
show examples
 to have
convenient
Add an article
a convenient
show examples
 and healthy life.
Submitted by bitasd1m.bs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: