IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

People living in large cities today face many problems in they everyday life.what are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

#people #cities #face #life #governments #move #towns
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Nowadays
people
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 who are living in mega cities confront with myriad troubles in daily life.living in
congested
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the congested
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 area have a lot of disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as
air
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 pollution and lack of good housing. So government should motivate folk to move to
countryside
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the countryside
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.
To begin
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 with,
Linking Words
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 and foremost problem is
air
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 pollution. It is important to have various types of transportation in
metropolis
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the metropolis
a metropolis
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 that leads to
Correct article usage
the spread
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spread
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spreading
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black
Change preposition
of black
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 smoke in the
air
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.
therefore
Linking Words
, it arises different types of respiratory diseases.
For example
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,
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 who lives in
crowded
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the crowded
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 has more asthma and lung cancer
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 with
people
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 living in
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
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.
Moreover
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, authorities have to supply extra houses for the increased
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people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
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 who might
dwel
Correct your spelling
dwell
well
 in open places or slums. To solve these above troubles,
government
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the government
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 should motivate
people
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 to transfer to
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
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. If society
immigrate
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immigrates
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 to
countryside
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the countryside
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,they will not face
with
Change preposition
apply
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air
Use synonyms
 contamination.
as a result
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 they do not get respiratory diseases.
Besides
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 that,
people
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 could have
convenient
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a convenient
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 and healthy life in
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
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although
Linking Words
 they do not have modern housing facilities.
For instance
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, they would be able to grow crops easily and eat healthy food.eventually,
this
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 would help them to live healthier and touch
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature. In conclusion,
people
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 living in
an astronomical cities
Correct the article-noun agreement
astronomical cities
an astronomical city
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 struggle with hassles
such
Linking Words
 as
air
Use synonyms
 pollution and lack of housing facilities.
Hence
Linking Words
,authorities should persuade
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 to move to
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
show examples
 to have
convenient
Add an article
a convenient
show examples
 and healthy life.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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