Nowadays many people want to buy famous brands of cloth , cars and other items . what are the reasons for this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #brands #cloth #cars #items #development

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this

modern world , wearing branded items is becoming more popular

ever

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than before.

However

, a number of communities like to purchase expensive clothes and cars in order to show their wealth. I strongly believe that

this

trend has more negative sides as compared to positive ones. On the one hand , the first and perhaps the most important reason why

this

trend has more negative sides is that people waste a huge amount of money buying popular pieces of stuff.

In addition

this

, flok spends more cash on buying unnecessary items in order to show off.

For example

, if one has a car , which is working very well but their friends have a better model

then

he or she prefers to buy a car like theirs.

As a result

, the money is wasted because that can be useful for starting a small business or enhancing their hobbies. The second reason appears to be a bad effect on youngsters because of

this

kind of thing. In detail , youth may have a bad influence, if they see their parents and old ones

while

spending cash on branded pieces of stuff

then

those can never learn the importance of money.

On the other hand

using

Verb problem

wearing

show examples

good clothes or cars can enhance one's personality because massed always judge a person by

this

, only a few of them see their character.

Moreover

this

will not make only

flok

Change the capitalization

Flok

show examples

looks more attractive but

also

help them

for getting

Change preposition

to get

show examples

a job .

For instance

, if a person wears well-known brands and has good communication skills

then

he or she will be perfect to become an employer in the future. In conclusion, from the aforementioned points, I indeed think that the trend has less importance because

this

can affect people's

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Submitted by pyash5245 on Thu Dec 29 2022

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Task Response

The essay discusses the reasons for the popularity of branded items and evaluates the trend as more negative than positive. However, the focus is more on listing reasons rather than developing a cohesive argument. Try to address the prompt more directly and provide a clear stance on whether the trend is positive or negative.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction, and the conclusion is abrupt. Work on structuring the essay with a clear introduction that introduces the topic and provides an outline, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the thesis.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Nowadays many people want to buy famous brands of cloth , cars and other items . what are the reasons for this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

These days, school should focus more on producing young people who have the skills required to join the workforce, rather than focusing on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Although family is a powerful influence on child's life, it is also influenced from outside the home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h