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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue that arts such as painting and music are a waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #arts #music #waste #money #government #services
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In the modern world,
people
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 are more concerned with new technology rather than
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arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. Due to
this
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 reason, some critics argue that there is no
importance
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 in spending money on
arts
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 and, it should be allocated for the
development
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 of public
services
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instead
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. I disagree with
this
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 statement because
arts
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also
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 play an important role in developing the human mind.
Firstly
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, I would like to discuss the
importance
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 of
arts
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 for the
development
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 of society. It is a well-known fact that the majority of
people
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 in modern society have busy schedules in their lives due to day-to-day business.
This
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 has increased their mental stress level and made it hard to maintain a balance between work and life. Engaging in
art
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 activities
such
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 as painting and music helps
people
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 to relax their minds and supports them to recover from many mental disorders.
Also
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, it has been proven by scientists that, entertaining activities are essential to improve the creative thinking of human beings. The aforementioned facts confirm the
importance
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 of
arts
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 for the
development
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 of mankind.
Next
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, I will brief you on the
importance
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 of maintaining good public
services
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 in a country and why
people
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 think that money spent on
art
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 education is a waste. It is vital to have quality public
services
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such
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 as transport and medical facilities in order to maintain good living standards in a country. With no
such
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 facilities, we can not expect that
people
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 will have a comfortable life even though they have chances to engage in more
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art related
Add a hyphen
art-related
show examples
 activities.
Also
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, many
people
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 find that knowledge of
art
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 subjects is not important for most of the jobs available in the market.
Therefore
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, some
people
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 believe that fund allocation for
arts
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 is not beneficial. To summarize, there is no doubt that having good public
services
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 is a mandatory requirement for the
development
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 of a country and the government should give high priority to that. Yet,
arts
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 are
similarly
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 important for the
development
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 of mankind, especially when it comes to mental health.
Hence
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, allocating money for
arts
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 can not be considered a waste.
Further
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, the government should think of alternative ways of earning funds for developing public
services
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instead
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 of cutting down the budget allocation for
arts
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.
Submitted by lasantha22 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fostering
  • culturally rich
  • diverse society
  • valuable outlet
  • enhancing
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • economic contributions
  • tourists
  • improving mental health
  • well-being
  • therapy
  • relaxation
  • limited impact
  • balanced allocation
  • catalyze
  • private investment
  • philanthropy
  • cultural initiatives
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