Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers rather than to benefit them as individuals to which extent do you agree or disagree?

to a certain
level
Add a comma
,level
show examples
I agree that the role of
schools
is to prepare children to be more productive.
However
, I
also
believe that
schools
have a positive impact on us as individuals.
Schools
mostly teach their students to be
dedicating
Change the form of the verb
dedicated
show examples
workers in
jobs
Change the noun form
job
show examples
sectors. The
schools
Change to a genitive case
school's
schools'
show examples
curriculum
concentrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
concentrates
show examples
on improving some skills that are not
Change the adjective
necessarily
show examples
necessary
Replace the word
necessarily
show examples
going to help us in the real world
such
as memorizing texts and definitions which is
considerably
Replace the word
considered
show examples
not the best approach
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
learning,
Secondly
, most teachers criticize their pupils when they fail in their tests, ignoring that the essence of great success is great failings.
This
may execute trepidation of failing when they are experiencing life as adults.
Consequently
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
opportunities will
merged
Change the verb form
merge
be merged
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
them because they always avoid risk-taking as they assume to avoid failure,
such
conception can be devastating for children in their life.
however
,
schools
have a great impact overall in our life in terms of aspects like education and occupation. Society members may sometimes adopt and circulate the experience of some successful people and deal with it as
role
Correct article usage
a role
show examples
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
an exceptional state, as they claim that most of the biggest successful people did not go to school, overlooking the millions of people that
schools
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
a crucial component of their success
such
as becoming the CEO of a particular company. Another interesting thing is that most of the jobs in the
last
century
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
qualifications and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
Change to a genitive case
school's
schools'
show examples
certification is the most important among them. in conclusion, the methodology used in teaching children should be optimized to align the real-world demands.
Although
schools
have a beneficial effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals.
Submitted by muntagsuheel55 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • shaping
  • developing
  • unique talents
  • potential
  • well-rounded
  • academic
  • social
  • emotional development
  • personal growth
  • contribute positively
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • individuality
  • happier and more fulfilled
  • strike a balance
  • preparing students for the workforce
  • nurturing
  • individual needs
  • pursue passions and interests
  • thrive
  • future professionals
  • community institutions
  • shape community values
  • foster civic engagement
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