IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security camaras). In many cases, the people being monitoredare unaware that this is happening. Do you think the adventatges of this development outweigh the disadventatges?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #camaras #cases #monitoredare #adventatges #development #disadventatges
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People in the actuality are starting to get used more and more to the technologies and many know about the ways that Big
Data
Use synonyms
 are
using
Wrong verb form
used
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 when they are surfing the internet. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument. According to many one possible
disadvantage
Change to a plural noun
disadvantages
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about
Change preposition
of
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 these
Add a comma
,news
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news
Correct your spelling
new
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 technologies is keeping our
privacity
Correct your spelling
privacy
 intact.
For example
Linking Words
, when you want to do shopping online it
knowns
Add a missing verb
is knowns
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 that
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 many
webs
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web
show examples
pages
Use synonyms
 you need to sign up and provide private
data
Use synonyms
 in order to do the registration,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 your number phone, e-mail,
ubication
Correct word choice
and ubication
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. As a
consequence
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,consequence
show examples
 these
pages
Use synonyms
probabily
Correct your spelling
probably
 will send you
Add an article
an e-mail
show examples
e-mail
Fix the agreement mistake
e-mails
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 with advertisements about
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 products and call you with the same
willing
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willingness
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.
Nevertheless
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, the people
are divided
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have divided
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 in their opinion and some support that the advantages of
this
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 development are bigger.
Moreover
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, in order to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not lose time, Big
Data
Use synonyms
 workers
provides
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provide
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 web
pages
Use synonyms
 with cookies.
For example
Linking Words
, when you are
sufring
Correct your spelling
suffering
surfing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these
pages
Use synonyms
 to look for some products, these
technologuies
Correct your spelling
technologies
 are helping you
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 one preselection to help you to do
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best
choosing
Replace the word
choice
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, in a similar fashion cellphone tracking and security
camaras
Correct your spelling
cameras
 are in so many
bussines
Correct your spelling
business
 to help
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to increase the benefits and
fundamentaly
Correct your spelling
fundamentally
fundamentals
 for security. In short, many people agree that
Linking Words
this new technologies
Change the determiner
this new technology
these new technologies
show examples
 are created for our benefit and we need to see that in
this
Linking Words
 way, and the disadvantages are pretty
insignificants
Correct your spelling
insignificant
significant
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many times we can
choose
Add the particle
tochoose
show examples
 provide
data
Use synonyms
 or not
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these online
pages
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by arianaganea92 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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