The obesity rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many developed countries. discuss some possible reasons for this problem and suggest solutions.

#obesity #rate #teenagers #countries

The unpredictable progress of society brings several notable notions with them which are interconvertible the rising tendency of health is one of them. The rate of

obesity

in children's increased fast in many big countries. To

this

, the essay will

further

elaborate on the reasons and give some remedies for it. Without any qualms, nowadays the increasing number of fast

food

has a significant influence on

obesity

and other health-related problems.

This

means

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

The majority of teenagers prefer fast

food

on a daily basis which is prepared with a high quantity of oil and other ingredients which effects.

For instance

, by consuming fast

food

teenagers face problems like gain weight, high blood pressure,

obesity

, and so on ,

thus

, they

also

feel frustrated and ill. On the other school of thought, to reduce the rate of

obesity

everyone needs to avoid junk

food

. To justify it, they need to eat more green vegetables and fruits. To elaborate on it, parents should encourage children to consume homemade

food

which is made of fresh vegetables. ,

Moreover

government should need to ban a variety of fast

food

As a result

, they will help teenagers to reduce their

obesity

levels. In conclusion,

although

, fast

food

is prepared in a few minutes and saves an individual's time , we cannot ignore its drawbacks

Submitted by prabhgill1621 on Fri Dec 30 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

218 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

dramatically
prevalence
addictive
sedentary lifestyle
screen time
gadgets
exertion
awareness
balanced diet
incorporate
nutritional education
facilitating
impose
regulations
restricting
promote

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In ancient times, major population thrived in a small communities where everyone knew each other. In these days, most of the people live in urban areas such as capital cities and are not much aware of other people around them. What were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small communities?
Most of people tended to live in a small population, in the past, when everyone had a smaller circle of acquaintances. However, nowadays, people living in bigger cities prefer to be individualism than miggling with each other. Some debats that inhabitting in the sub-urban have more benefits outweighing the drawbacks. Overviews of both sides is still needed in order to discuss this issue.
7
band
Nowadays genetically modified food is widespread all over the world. While proponents of GM crops ensure that these foods are safe for human consumption and help to increase food supplies, others argue that their effects on health have not been studied long enough. Describe pros and cons of genetically modified foods.
Genetically modified foods have become ubiquitous globally, with proponents highlighting their potential to address food scarcity and opponents expressing reservations about potential health implications.
8
band
Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person’s culture and character from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?
Clothing is one of the basic needs of every human being. The original purpose of clothing was to safeguard the body from environmental factors, such as heat, cold, Serpens, etc. However, some believe that there’s a greater possibility to link someone’s culture and character to what they wear. Nonetheless, this essay disagrees with this opinion. Because clothing has become an appearance enhancer in today’s context. Also, people decide on what they wear relating to the event and the requirements.
4
band
Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
Some individuals believe that a considerable amount of time and money is spent on conservation of wild animals, and that this money could be best spent on the human inhabitants. I totally disagree with this statement because preservation of animals will enhance medical research, tourism industry, and ehthicals values .
4
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
As it is commonly believed history is a crucial subject that modern world cannot live without. However, due to progress in tech field, other half consider Science and Technology to be the subject that overwhelmes History. In this essay both views are going to be discussed.

The obesity rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many developed countries. discuss some possible reasons for this problem and suggest solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person’s culture and character from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.