Write a 250-word essay for the topic: More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

In the new era, the sugar-based

drink

industry has grown fastly, and they have a strategy for marketing, promotion and producing delicious products. In one decade

people

had difficulty stopping drinking sugar-based

drinks

. In my essay, I will support some opinions about the reason why they

drink

a lot and give solutions on how to decrease the consumption of sugar-based

drinks

First

, In the global era, sugar-based

drink

companies create many advertisements, and

people

easier to find advertisements for products on social media

such

as Instagram, Tiktok, and Facebook applications.

For example

, Nutrisasi Inc. advertises its products with healthy

drink

brands and promotes by influencers. The reason why

people

today

drink

sugar-based

drinks

more than in the past era.

Furthermore

, sugar has an addictive substance that's why

people

are difficult to leave sugar-based

drinks

. The combination between marketing strategy and addictive substance is why

people

consumed more and more, even though they know about the negative impacts.

Second

, too much sugar in our body is not good for our health, they make diabetes when

people

consume it in their habit.

Moreover

, diabetes is danger one for humans, diabetes is the deathliest disease for humans. The solutions are government must create policies for sugar-based

drink

companies to make limitations on production.

Then

educate the

people

from school and public spaces about

a healthy

Correct the article-noun agreement

healthy drinks

a healthy drink

show examples

drinks

Furthermore

, decrease consume sugar-based drinking is not easy but we can try sports activities, chose healthy foods and have good life habits. To sum it up, sugar-based drinking is not good for

people

's health so government must have the responsibility to create policies and give education programs about healthy

drinks

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Fri Dec 30 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Write a 250-word essay for the topic: More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and presentations in school. Why is this? What other skills do you think it is important to be taught in schools?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You arranged to visit a friend in Canada but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of visit. Write a letter to your friend, in your letter 1-Explain the important event 2-Apologize for the situation 3- Suggest a new arrangement

Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development ?

The diagram shows the stages in the cultivation and management of a forest. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and comparisons where relevant.