Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes? What are solution?

In recent years, young
job
seekers are in competition with the old whose number of them is increasing for
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
. Since
this
situation has
an adverse effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
an adverse effect
adverse effects
show examples
on young
people’
Correct your spelling
people
show examples
s life, a mutual agreement between
companies
and
universities
to provide courses that
students
can work as a trainee in
companies
for a while is beneficial not only for
students
but
also
companies
which I will explain in detail as follows: Young
people
have some difficulties in finding
Add an article
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
for which the old apply.
This
is to say that in an inequivalent condition in which employees show more tendency to employ skilled workers, elders have more chance to hold a position. As the demand for
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
by older
people
is higher than ever, the less experienced
people
should be lucky to be offered
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
as
Correct article usage
the elder’s
show examples
elder’s
Change the noun form
elders
elder
show examples
.
Therefore
, in spite of having
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
education, they have to accept dead-end
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
offers like
waitress
Add an article
a waitress
the waitress
show examples
, salesperson, and so on.
As a result
, They might walk away from dissatisfied
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
by either dropping out
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
universities
or committing a crime
such
as using illegal drugs or becoming theft which has detrimental influences on
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
health. When it comes to
Add an article
a solution
the solution
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
,
cooperation
Correct article usage
the cooperation
show examples
of
universities
and
companies
could be an effective way to tackle these problems. What I mean to say is that
universities
with
assistance
Add an article
the assistance
show examples
of
companies
can enforce a law on which
students
should work for
companies
as an intern during their education years to gain practical experience. In
this
way, a large number of
students
might be recruited by
companies
in which they finish their internment;
Besides
, a young person who
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
in their major even have more opportunity to take a
job
in comparison to older
people
. In conclusion, in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
competitive unequal environment in which the old’s requirements for occupations
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
becoming high, there are some major concerns for young graduates in terms of working which influence their future in a negative way.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: