The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?

It is an obvious fact that education plays a part and parcel role in today's era without it life is incomplete or young people become illiterate. Every pupil wants to study in order to get a decent livelihood.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the most preferred is given by the
government
to brilliant
students
rather than focusing on weak
students
.
Hence
, a section of individuals reckon those
students
who are unable to read and write are imperative for society and more tremendous funding should be given to them. I agree with
this
notion. I shall
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
my whole viewpoints in forthcoming fragments. At the outset, there are innumerable reasons which support the fact that
why
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
government
ought to utilize money on dull
students
. The first and foremost one is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
students
would become extraordinary. To be more precise , nowadays most pupils are suffering from issues
such
as fear , lack of knowledge, and shame
due to
which they become introverts they do not go outside
due to
shamelessness and worrying about others' friends and humans and what they think about them.
Secondly
,when
students
cross
Verb problem
are
show examples
18 plus age
then
they start finding work.
On the contrary
,
due to
a lack of , knowledge they failed to get a job. For epitome, the survey conducted by Cambridge
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
delineated that they commit suicide
as well as
start doing burglaries.
Thus
, it not only affects national economies but
also
deteriorates the value of the country.
Therefore
, if the
government
give funding to weak
students
then
they would study like others
execute
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in schools and colleges and mitigate the discrimination between them.
Furthermore
, Sometimes lack of knowledge becomes detrimental for
students
owing to
Verb problem
because
show examples
whenever they face any trouble in life
such
as the accident of their wife they it cause of death.
For instance
, every hospital rule is that every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
to fill out the form
then
they start the treatment of patients. If individuals are unable to fill out the form
then
patient conditions might be more critical,
Moreover
, The chance of fraud has increased .perceptions of doctors they are unable to understand
as a result
, shopkeepers can give medicine at expensive prices.
Hence
, the
government
should open free-of-cost schools and colleges where pupils come and brighten their upcoming future.
To sum up
, it is essential for those
students
who are weak in their studies. If the high regime
failed
Wrong verb form
fails
show examples
to give huge funding to weak
students
in order to enhance their reading and writing abilities
then
in the future
students
become illiterate.
Consequently
, it might be an unsurmountable task for them to mitigate it.
Submitted by dhillonkirat19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you fully address the prompt and provide a clear opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more logical and coherent manner. Use linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied words and expressions.
grammatical range
Work on improving your sentence structure and grammar accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence formation.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: