IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is an obvious fact that education plays a part and parcel role in today's era without it life is incomplete or young people become illiterate. Every pupil wants to study in order to get a decent livelihood.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the most preferred is given by the
government
Use synonyms
 to brilliant
students
Use synonyms
 rather than focusing on weak
students
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, a section of individuals reckon those
students
Use synonyms
 who are unable to read and write are imperative for society and more tremendous funding should be given to them. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion. I shall
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
 my whole viewpoints in forthcoming fragments. At the outset, there are innumerable reasons which support the fact that
why
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
government
Use synonyms
 ought to utilize money on dull
students
Use synonyms
. The first and foremost one is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 would become extraordinary. To be more precise , nowadays most pupils are suffering from issues
such
Linking Words
 as fear , lack of knowledge, and shame
due to
Linking Words
 which they become introverts they do not go outside
due to
Linking Words
 shamelessness and worrying about others' friends and humans and what they think about them.
Secondly
Linking Words
,when
students
Use synonyms
cross
Verb problem
are
show examples
 18 plus age
then
Linking Words
 they start finding work.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of , knowledge they failed to get a job. For epitome, the survey conducted by Cambridge
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 delineated that they commit suicide
as well as
Linking Words
 start doing burglaries.
Thus
Linking Words
, it not only affects national economies but
also
Linking Words
 deteriorates the value of the country.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if the
government
Use synonyms
 give funding to weak
students
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they would study like others
execute
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in schools and colleges and mitigate the discrimination between them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Sometimes lack of knowledge becomes detrimental for
students
Use synonyms
owing to
Verb problem
because
show examples
 whenever they face any trouble in life
such
Linking Words
 as the accident of their wife they it cause of death.
For instance
Linking Words
, every hospital rule is that every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to fill out the form
then
Linking Words
 they start the treatment of patients. If individuals are unable to fill out the form
then
Linking Words
 patient conditions might be more critical,
Moreover
Linking Words
, The chance of fraud has increased .perceptions of doctors they are unable to understand
as a result
Linking Words
, shopkeepers can give medicine at expensive prices.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should open free-of-cost schools and colleges where pupils come and brighten their upcoming future.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is essential for those
students
Use synonyms
 who are weak in their studies. If the high regime
failed
Wrong verb form
fails
show examples
 to give huge funding to weak
students
Use synonyms
 in order to enhance their reading and writing abilities
then
Linking Words
 in the future
students
Use synonyms
 become illiterate.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it might be an unsurmountable task for them to mitigate it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you fully address the prompt and provide a clear opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more logical and coherent manner. Use linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied words and expressions.
grammatical range
Work on improving your sentence structure and grammar accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence formation.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy
  • illiteracy
  • funding
  • resources
  • early education
  • educational foundation
  • economic benefits
  • societal impact
  • eradicating illiteracy
  • moral and ethical responsibility
  • intersectionality
  • case studies
  • allocation of resources
  • long-term benefits
  • contribution
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • social issues
What to do next:
Look at other essays: