IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Since most information about culture and history can be found on the internet, museum are not needed anymore.To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Technology has overtaken the world by storm.What could only be known by visiting a
museum
Use synonyms
 is now accessible at a touch of a finger through the
internet
Use synonyms
.
Museums
Use synonyms
 are now obsolete because of their substitution for online
forums
Use synonyms
.I agree for the most part because comparatively much more knowledge is available
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
cyberspace and they are
time
Use synonyms
-saving.While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the historic
experience
Use synonyms
 that
one
Use synonyms
 could feel at
such
Linking Words
 exhibit centres is
also
Linking Words
 unique. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 online platforms are a great source of
information
Use synonyms
 and are
also
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 efficient.
That is
Linking Words
 why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cyber
forums
Use synonyms
 have rightly displaced the
museums
Use synonyms
 due to these reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is a collection of
information
Use synonyms
 from throughout the world and there is almost nothing,that could not be known through the
internet
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
 google search about Mohenjo Daro opens up piles of
information
Use synonyms
 about it,including its location,history,culture,pictures,and whatnot.While the
museums
Use synonyms
 only present limited facts.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
time
Use synonyms
 wasted in buying a ticket and visiting the place physically
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is saved.To use online
forums
Use synonyms
 of
information
Use synonyms
,
one
Use synonyms
 does not have to go anywhere but access all those piles of data,sitting on his couch.
Hence
Linking Words
 cyber
forums
Use synonyms
 have greatly overtaken
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museums
Use synonyms
 due to their advantages.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the
experience
Use synonyms
 of the
museum
Use synonyms
 can not be substituted.A
museum
Use synonyms
 is where the remains and artefacts from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific
time
Use synonyms
 are arranged in
such
Linking Words
 a manner that they let the visitor dive into that period and feel that era.For some people,
this
Linking Words
experience
Use synonyms
 can not be replicated on the
internet
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,I remember when I visited the
museum
Use synonyms
 of pre-historic fossil remains of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals and I still remember that
experience
Use synonyms
 much more than what I look around on the
internet
Use synonyms
 every day.
Hence
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 exhibition places may not go completely obsolete anytime soon. To conclude, online
forums
Use synonyms
 have many advantages over the
museums
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as providing more data and being more
time
Use synonyms
-efficient.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,the factor of indulging the visitor to that specific
time
Use synonyms
,can not be replicated and
therefore
Linking Words
 there will always be some people preferring
museums
Use synonyms
 over the
internet
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: