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Band 4.5

some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate school. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed shool.

#people #boys #girls #school #benefit #shool
It argued that boys and girls
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 in separate
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 is better.
On the other hand
, a lot of people believe that more
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 if both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gender
 educate together. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will offer my opinion
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inclusion. Some of the reasons that people prefer different
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 are as follows.
First
 of all, it can help children focus
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their studying.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girl
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not need
too
Replace the word
to
show examples
 care
their
Change preposition
about their
show examples
 appearance
such
 as
make up
Join the words
makeup
show examples
, dress up and find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way to compete with others to
attractive
Replace the word
attract
show examples
 the boy.
In addition
, it can make the facilities simplify and streamlined. An example of
this
,
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
 one type of bathroom and changing rooms are required.
Besides
 that,
however
, mixing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two
gender
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 in co-educated
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 is more
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
.
Initially
, both sexes should
treated
Change the verb form
be treated
show examples
 equally in
ecucation
Correct your spelling
education
 or life.
For instance
, if your children learn in mixed class where your kids are received
lession
Correct your spelling
lessons
 the same for all
gender
this
 promote
equall
Correct your spelling
equal
 competition.
Secondly
, learning together helps students see and solve various different problems like real life that encourage them
know
Add the particle
to know
show examples
 about skills
Change preposition
in life
show examples
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in the future.
For example
, male students can learn how to
contacted
Change the form of the verb
contact
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another
gender
 in many situations
such
 as friend zone, love or only admire them.
Finally
, girls often harder study than boys
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 helps all boys students feel
embarrassing
Replace the word
embarrassed
show examples
 and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
motivation
Change the article
the motivation
show examples
 to learn. In conclusion, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 feel that the advantage of
mixed
Add an article
a mixed
show examples
school
 outweigh than
separate
Add an article
a separate
the separate
show examples
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some reasons
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have outlined above.
Submitted by timmotgiay02 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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