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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games for childre. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,
parents
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 are responsible for their
children
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's growth. It depends
how
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on how
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 the
parents
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 control their
children
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 in their free
time
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 at home. There are some arguments made of reading storybooks is better than playing computer
games
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 or watching television. In my point of view,
children
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 should read books more
that
Correct word choice
than
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 spend their
time
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 doing other things.
Firstly
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, the early growth of
children
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 is the most important
time
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 for their growth, these stages make them learn and adapt for
future
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 knowledge.
Therefore
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, reading is important to pupils for making them create an
imagination
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image
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.
For instance
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, if they read a book about taking care of friends, automatically they know how to bond with their friends. All these kinds of reactions to reading will make
children
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 more
attractive
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attracted
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 to keep on reading books.
On the other hand
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, when
children
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 always been exposed to watching television or playing
games
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, it will make them less interested of study in
future
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.
For example
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, when
children
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 start to play
games
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, they will addiction to the game all the
time
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. Sometimes,
parents
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 will not able to control their child's wishes and
as a result
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, they will play the
games
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 for the whole day. In my conclusion,
children
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 should be reading more for
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 foreseeable
future
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, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents
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also
Linking Words
 have to know how to manage their
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
time
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 and forsake their
future
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.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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