IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Topic: Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. ​ What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

#topic #pollution #rivers #lakes #seas #concern #people #environment #water #effects #life #society
There are tons of rivers, lakes and seas in which
water
 is harmful to a variety of fish as well as to humans. The
water
 is hazardous because of
high
Add an article
the high
a high
show examples
 level of pollution there.
That is
 why
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 who want to help nature become cleaner and better are so
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 about the bad situation which is going
nowadays
Change preposition
on nowadays
show examples
.
This
 essay is presenting what may be the reason for
this
 situation and what consequences it can bring for animals and
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
spices
Correct your spelling
species
show examples
.
First
 of all, folks do not recycle rubbish. It is so important to throw bins into the correct boxes. Thanks to that more materials can be used twice, for, instance plastic or glass, which leads to less polluted
water
. What is more, in a remote part of the world where access to fresh sweet
water
 is almost impossible, society there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 treating lakes and rivers as a bath. They are washing bodies there and dishes as well. During that activities, it is necessary to use soap or some other chemical products. Unfortunately,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animal and plant life in
such
water
 is becoming a Poisson. From my point of view, because of the bad quality of
water
 in a various
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of
globe
Correct article usage
the globe
show examples
 more and more animals and people, what is maybe even more crucial, have problems with possessing
water
that is
 drinkable.
Also
, if the world will not stop wasting
water
, farmers are not going to have essential products to care about plants like corn or rice, which can cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a worldwide hunger
Remove the article
worldwide hunger
a pang of worldwide hunger
show examples
. To sum up, polluted rivers, lakes and seas are a serious problem that people should handle as fast as it is possible. In other ways, the feature might not look good as it
suppose
Change the verb form
supposes
show examples
 to.
Submitted by kuba.kuczynski13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: