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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #schools #reward #students #show #results #improvements
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There has been a view regarding whether schools should encourage top
students
Use synonyms
 or those who have
progress
Change the verb form
progressed
show examples
 in academic results. I side with those people who think that it is essential to reward
students
Use synonyms
 trying to get better. Both views will be explained in detail as follow: The
first
Linking Words
 reason why it should give awards to
students
Use synonyms
 who show improvements is that it provides them with incentives to study more and more.
This
Linking Words
 is to say that when others pay attention to their performances, they much
likely
Correct quantifier usage
more likely
show examples
 become motivated to prove themselves.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, they are more susceptible to giving up their
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
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 in development. Top
students
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, on the other side, have an innate tendency to study continuously;
therefore
Linking Words
, the paucity of
encouragements
Fix the agreement mistake
encouragement
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 never
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
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 them quit.
Secondly
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, giving
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
 to
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
students
Use synonyms
 make them achieve a higher academic level which leads to a competitive environment in which every
Use synonyms
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 wants to be better
among
Change preposition
than
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 others. It is beneficial for both sides.
Conversely
Linking Words
, some people hold the view that
students
Use synonyms
 with
foremost
Correct article usage
the foremost
show examples
 academic qualifications are more qualified to compensate in comparison to others. What
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 mean is that
making
Change preposition
by making
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 an effort to get good grades, hard-working
students
Use synonyms
 are infinitely referable to be appreciated.
However
Linking Words
, I am of the opinion that their great academic achievement in school
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 them a large number of opportunities in future;
hence
Linking Words
,they will see the outcomes of their attempts. To sum up, whereas some people think that well-performance
students
Use synonyms
 should be praised for their results, I agree with the idea that weaker
students
Use synonyms
 require more awards for their improvements as they might find it difficult to continue the process and knock
off
Correct pronoun usage
it off
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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