In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

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Youths are the asset of every country, as they are the future. In

this

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contemporary world, teenagers do part-time jobs

while

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pursuing their studies. Every coin has two sides ,

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likewise

Add a comma

likewise,

show examples

this

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idea can result in positive

as well as

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a negative outcomes

Correct the article-noun agreement

a negative outcome

negative outcomes

show examples

. I think both views are reasonable and

this

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essay will analyse the reason with lucid examples.

To begin

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with, the most indispensable fact is that nowadays youths are egocentric in nature, they want to be independent as soon as possible. Part-time employment offers them

this

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opportunity, where they can beat their own expenses and need not be dependent on respective guardians.

For example

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, partying is an indivisible part of youths.

This

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adds additional financial burden, but if they are partially employed, they can pay off their bills.

Additionally

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, many mature young individuals support their families in monetary terms.

For instance

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, one of my relatives is a single mother, and her elder son bears all the expenses of his younger sister

Remove the comma

apply

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while

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studying by having a consultancy business as a halftime job.

This

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makes them responsible, mature &

accountable

Correct word choice

and accountable

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Nevertheless

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, teenagers can

also

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misuse their salary. Here I would to like cite an incidence from my own college, where graduates

use

Wrong verb form

used

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to buy drugs with their additional income &

Correct word choice

and spoiled

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spoiled

Wrong verb form

spoil

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their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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Similarly

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, many individuals

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

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money on gambling which again shows the negative impact. In conclusion,

independency

Replace the word

independence

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is a boon in a plethora of ways. One should

therefore

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look for the priorities of life. Even the judiciary says after 18 years of age, one can

take

Correct your spelling

make

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voluntary decisions. So, it's all in the hands of youngsters to use

this

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idea in a good or bad way &

also

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how to lead their lives.

bincy.rossTue Jan 03 2023

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Task Achievement

The essay does not fully address the prompt by providing a balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects of teenagers having jobs while still in school.

Coherence and Cohesion

There is a lack of overall coherence and cohesion in the essay. It is recommended to use clear and logical paragraph development, as well as more cohesive devices to improve the overall flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a varied range of vocabulary and attempts to use complex structures. However, there are instances of inappropriate word choices and awkward phrasing.

Grammatical Range

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are errors in subject-verb agreement and awkward sentence constructions that impact the overall clarity and fluency of the essay.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Some Young People are leaving the countryside to live in towns and cities, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

Many people believe that educational standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the area of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the problem and give solutions ?