IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, people ate local food in season. Nowadays, people buy a variety of food from all over the world. Does it advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #food #season #variety #world
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These days, a vast majority of
countries
Use synonyms
 in the world
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 deeply engaged in the international
food
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 trade. It is commonly seen that ordinary citizens
consuming
Wrong verb form
consume
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 various
food
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 imported from foreign
countries
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. On
positive
Add an article
the positive
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 side,
firstly
Linking Words
, in
grand
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the grand
show examples
 scheme, it is undeniable that varied
food
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 from worldwide suppliers will reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 insecurity
for
Change preposition
in
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 some
countries
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, improving the well-being
for
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of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 living there. That means, there are some
countries
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do
Correct pronoun usage
that do
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 not have the natural resources base that
allow
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allows
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 them to supply all kinds of
food
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 their
people
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 need simply
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
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 the weather or less nutritious soil. For the
food
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 that they need but cannot maintain self-sufficient, importing from other
countries
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 is something that will immediately help to eliminate
Linking Words
such
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the such
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issue
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issues
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.
Then
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, as for individuals, the global
food
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 business will give them not only the
experiences
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experience
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 of tasty and exciting
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 a wider spectrum of nutritious ingredients throughout the year.
For example
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,
people
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 in
Nordic
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the Nordic
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 area can purchase tropical fruits from
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a supermarket
the supermarket
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supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
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 in the winter which provide them
amazing
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with amazing
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 juicy bites and abundant natural vitamins. On the downside, a major disadvantage of importing
food
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 is its larger carbon footprint.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, it is more likely for these foods to be transported by ships, planes, and vehicles from a long-distant country to a supermarket shelf. Plus, some of them need to be restored in refrigerated chains, adding
huge
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a huge
show examples
 amount of fossil fuel usage. Simply put, it is not environmentally friendly, to a certain extent, to consume more
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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imported
food
Use synonyms
 in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
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 local
food
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.
In addition
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, for consumers, there is
also
Linking Words
potential
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a potential
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 risk in the chemicals widely used to delay and boost the ripeness of fruits and vegetables.
As a result
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, it will inevitably harm the health of
people
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 relying on imported
food
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. Personally, I tend to think that
people
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 must find the sweet point between their
dependance
Correct your spelling
dependence
 on global and local supply. All in all,
this
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 is not a
black and white
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black-and-white
show examples
 question.
Submitted by wjartemis07 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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