IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems, and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming. To what extent do you agree?

#government #amount #money
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Recently, an increasing number of individuals have started
Fix the infinitive
to focus
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focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
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 on
environmental
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an environmental
the environmental
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issue
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issues
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. Especially, one of those problems is
that
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apply
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whether administrations should allocate more funds
on
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to
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 global warming. And it has become a heated controversy. Most
of
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apply
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citizens
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the citizens
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 support
that
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what
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 the government definitely should do. Personally, I do agree
that
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with that
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. 
First
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 of all, it is
a
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an
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 undeniable fact that global warming is becoming the most serious problem compared with others.
This
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 is because
that
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apply
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it already threatened national security for parts of
world
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the world
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.
For example
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, according to
a
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an
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 early report from World Environment Institution, the raised temperature caused the melting of glaciers, obviously, it brought a threat
for
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to
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 most
of
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apply
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island
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the island
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 countries. So, global warming is a more threatening problem.
In addition
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, combatting
the
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apply
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global environmental issues is beneficial for
local
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locals
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,
as a result
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 of decreased temperature may
cause
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higher
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a higher
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possibiliy
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possibility
 of
raining
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rain
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 to tackle the local
the
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apply
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shortage of water;
therefore
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, authorities allocate funding
on
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for
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 global warming that bring positive influence on
local
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the local
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 environment at the same time.
However
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, the
behavior
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behaviour
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 that administrations spent an amount of money to solve
the
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apply
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global environmental problems may
cause
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 some
complain
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complaints
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,
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apply
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 because most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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ordinary people lack professional knowledge and they cannot aware benefits of these
behavior
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behaviour
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;
hence
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,
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apply
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 if the local government implemented the policy that allocates money to global warming could
cause
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 a bad result, a low satisfaction from the public. In conclusion,
although
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 local governments
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocating
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 funds
on
Change preposition
to
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 global warming may
cause
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 unsatisfied
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
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 from some
of
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apply
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citizens
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the citizens
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, in a long term, there are tons of advantages. So I extremely support it.
Submitted by lyutingting520 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urgent issues
  • global warming
  • local environmental problems
  • funding
  • redirecting funds
  • broader environmental health
  • financial efficiency
  • return on investment
  • cost-effective
  • holistic approach
  • moral and ethical considerations
  • resource allocation
  • long-term consequences
  • short-term impacts
  • competing environmental concerns
What to do next:
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