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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is a government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #health #people #government #responsibility #limit #people’s #consumption #individuals #amount
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Drastic effects on
health
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 can
been
Change the verb form
be
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 seen in those individuals who consume high amounts of
sugar
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 in their diet. Many think that Government should make some laws to limit
sugar
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 intake to protect
people
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's
health
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 while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 think that one should be responsible for their own
health
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
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both views and will give my opinion. Some
people
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 believe that Government should make policies regarding
intake
Correct article usage
the intake
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 of
sugar
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 so that their citizens will be healthy.
Additionally
Linking Words
, money should be invested in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness programs about
ill
Correct article usage
the ill
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 effects of too much
sugar
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 consumption.
For example
Linking Words
, if the
people
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 of
nation
Correct article usage
a nation
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 will be healthy
then
Linking Words
 only that nation can progress. By educating the
people
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 , serious
health
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 conditions can be prevented which ultimately
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the stress on
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health
Add an article
the health
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 care system. On the other side,
people
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 should be responsible for their
health
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 and can make choices which will promote their
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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. Food is the basic need of every individual and these days
people
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 have tremendous information available to use to make healthy choices.
People
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 should not be forced to do something. In conclusion, it is the shared responsibility of both
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
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 and
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 to control their
sugar
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 intake so that
people
Use synonyms
 have healthy lives and live longer.
Submitted by dnarinder on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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