Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which is better?

#education #systems #students #focus #subjects #age #study #range #school #system

Few institutes believe that only certain

subjects

should be included in the school curriculum when children are at the age of 15.

However

others think that all

subjects

should be part of their education .

this

essay will discuss both views .personally my opinion goes with the former statement

To begin

with, there are a lot of benefits to focusing on certain

subjects

Firstly

, the

students

can acquire depth knowledge in a particular field. if

students

only focus on a single subject

then

they will able to give their best.

therefore

students

are able to find their interests and can make their careers.

For example

,some

students

have a great interest in science or math. so if they focus on certain

subjects

it will be easy for them to learn deeply and can choose their field according to their interest. ,

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

with fewer ,

subjects

the

students

will not suffer from stress. To explain, some

students

came under stress when they spend most of their time reading different kinds of

subjects

. they do not get enough time to enjoy other activities if

students

learn a few

subjects

they will feel comfortable and have a relaxing time.

On the other hand

, some people believe that it is necessary to learn all

subjects

it is simply because they think in

this

way they can acquire diverse knowledge about their education.

Furthermore

, including different studies

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

helps to increase

Add an article

the

show examples

IQ level.when human learn a plethora of information it is seen in scientific research the connection between neurons increase dramatically.As a ,result the level of productivity and learning process will increase more. To conclude,

although

the variety of

subjects

develops knowledge and IQ levels yet I believe that certain

subjects

bring more benefits

Submitted by manpreetjoshan77 on Wed Jan 04 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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