IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advatages or more disadvatanges?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #advatages #disadvatanges
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Some
people
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 nowadays work long hours, which limits their
time
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 for leisure activities. In
this
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 essay, I will compare the advantages and disadvantages for those who have very little
time
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 to relax,
then
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 I will
further
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 elaborate on the reasons why I believe
this
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 situation is more of a disadvantage for society.
To begin
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 with, one of the greatest advantages for those who spend a lot of
time
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 working means that they have a job and are utilizing their
time
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 in a productive way.
Moreover
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, having a job keeps workers occupied and keeps them away from their bad habits. With that being said,
this
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 helps to decrease the unemployment rate in the community and lower the crime rates.
On the other hand
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, I believe
this
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 situation brings more negative impact on society. Overworking tends to increase
people
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's stress and affect their mental health, which
then
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 affects their physical health.
In addition
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, it is important for
people
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 to have a work and life balance. Each person should have
time
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 to do things that they enjoy to relieve their stress.
For example
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, the stress that
people
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 get through work
also
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 affects a person's energy level, which prevents them from doing things they enjoy when they have the
time
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 . To conclude,
although
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 working can keep
people
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 away from their bad habits and decrease the unemployment rate in society.
However
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, I believe that not having enough
time
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 for leisure activity will lead to both mental and physical health concerns, which in my opinion,
this
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 situation have more disadvantages than advantages.
Submitted by disishmeehlisa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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