Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government,while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The phenomenon of whether there should be a minimum age borden for the enessital positions in government has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as
people
's views on
this
issue in question may be, I personally believe that there are other more important factors in choosing candidates to take these positions. On one hand, some
people
think that young
people
should not take these position which contains too
much right
Fix the agreement mistake
many rights
show examples
because they lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
experience
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
working.
For example
, you need to make some choice that will affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
when you are in some main duty. A person without enough work
expenience
Correct your spelling
experience
is easier
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
than old folk on
this
.
Therefore
, there is
argument
Add an article
an argument
the argument
show examples
that young folk should work from
entry level
Add a hyphen
entry-level
show examples
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
to acquire more experience than directly
promote
Wrong verb form
promoted
show examples
to
a high titles
Correct the article-noun agreement
high titles
a high title
show examples
.
On the other hand
, I believe that young folk should be allowed to work
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same level of title as long as they have achieved
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
. While they may not have enough experience, for those positions, especially in government, they have more significant values.
For instance
, they have a better
understand
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understanding
show examples
of the need of the country because they are in the age of development of their career. They know what they need and the country
have
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has
show examples
not
provide
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provided
show examples
for their fields or businesses. Another reason is that young
man
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men
show examples
have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
flexible
mind
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minds
show examples
that
allow
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allows
show examples
them can always think
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
different angles and come up with new ideas.
As a result
,
This
will keep a country moving forward. Under
this
line of thinking, it seems to me that
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
these significant position
Change the determiner
this significant position
these significant positions
show examples
would have more
beneficals
Correct your spelling
beneficial
benefits
than older
people
.
Submitted by frankyimp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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