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Band 5

Happiness if often considered difficult to define. Why is this? What factors determine happiness?

#happiness #factors
Of course, every person wants to be happy and feel it always. But, no one knows how to define it, because they do not know that they are happy at the moment,
people
 just remember when they were happy.
Moreover
, it is because of
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
 do not think about factors of
happiness
 which are a lot. Both views will be discussed in
this
 essay.
Happiness
 is complex to define because it does not have any formula to get it. Nobody knows when others are happy and how to make them happy, since each person has his own way to take
happiness
 and when it can be.
For instance
, someone may become happy, when he reaches the mountains, while another one needs to wake up to be happy. Despite the fact that these factors may not exist, science has a lot of basics, which are needed by everyone. The Pyramid of Maslow presents us, where it has
such
 factors that are needed by
people
 in any requirements. There are
:
Remove the comma
apply
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 physiology, safety, socialization, confession, knowledge, esthetics and reaching goals, where each of these parameters
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 located above
each
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 other.
For example
, German scientists
find
Change the form of the verb
found
show examples
 that
people
 from the lowest classes need only the bottom parts
from
Change preposition
of
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this
 pyramid, while the higher classes
people
,
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 famous persons, millionaires and others want to reach things at the top of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Maslow’s pyramid. In conclusion, it is really hard to define
happiness
, because
people
 do not know when others can be happy and they only can suppose its ways
Submitted by Allazhar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • complex
  • embrace
  • vary
  • definition
  • material possessions
  • achievements
  • personal values
  • relationships
  • self-fulfillment
  • psychological
  • physiological
  • genetics
  • predispositions
  • cultural
  • societal
  • perception
  • pursuit
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