IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop childrens' life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do ypu agree or disagree?

#people #pastime #childrens #life #skills #time #ypu
Nowadays there has been a lot of debate about which way of gaining
skills
 is more effective for
children
: active pastime or reading? Reading produces a lot of information about
life
 and useful
skills
,
however
 only activities allow
children
 to practice
skills
. The main reason why I support
this
 view are peculiarities of human brains. People easily learn new
skills
 and knowledge when they do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some activities, rather than sit and study from books. That feature is especially significant for
children
. Adults can force themselves to read if they need to gain new information, but
children
 need a joyful format to absorb
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things.
For example
, If adults force
children
 to read about cooking, kids will perceive that important
life
 skill as an unpleasant and difficult duty. The negative understanding prevents the brain from remembering new things
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they are learned without pleasure. Learning through active games allows the brain to take enjoyment, so
children
 can gain
life
skills
 more effectively.
Moreover
, people can be taught through reading, If they are able to reflect on what they have read. It seems like a complicated task for
children
 when it comes to
life
skills
.
Children
 have an astonishing ability to learn by
communication
Replace the word
communicating
show examples
 with others. So it is easier to speak with kids about vital
skills
 and teach them through cooperation, not give them books with useful information. Taking all evidence into consideration, I believe that
active
Correct article usage
an active
show examples
 pastime is a more effective way of studying for
children
 than reading in the case of
life
skills
. Reading
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
 the subjects deeper, but
this
 option is better for adults
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 kids.
Submitted by mariyanice001 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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