Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work foe different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

#people #work #organisation #life #foe #organisations

In recent decades, it has been argued that acquiring experiences from various companies has more benefits than dedicating to just

only

Rephrase

apply

show examples

one workplace for a

lifespan time

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

Although

some people claim that spending most of their life working for only a business has a number of advantages I strongly believe that opportunities working in several places provide a wider vision of our lives. Sticking with the same business for all their working life could give them a chance to obtain sustainability and steady promotions.

For example

, commuting to the company that they have been working for doesn't require any variations having the same working routine or the way to work and

this

sustainability will offer less mental stresses which allow employees to concentrate on improving work performance.

Thus

, these situations will be able to make people keep up with stable employment which leads to annual wage increases or incentives for long-term workers.

On the other hand

, a variety of working experiences provides individuals with a better understanding of different organisations and an adapting ability.

For instance

, workers can gain many kinds of leadership skills as each company has a variant working atmosphere and environment of seminars or training programs.

Furthermore

, based on

this

enhanced performance, people could easily learn the way to apply their working style by switching companies which

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to a new contract with a higher salary.

Therefore

, it is significantly important to have experience conducting for different organisations. In conclusion, It cannot be denied that we are living in an era where unexpected consequences could take place

such

as getting fired or having failed to extend a working contract.

As a result

, it is comparatively essential for human beings to obtain variant working experiences in numerous businesses.

Submitted by mix5777 on Thu Jan 05 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly summarize the main points and offer a clear position on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Job security
Stability
Advancement
Company-specific skills
Loyalty
Belonging
Exposure
Diverse work environments
Cultures
Broad experience
Flexibility
Adaptability
Professional network

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