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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries an increasing number of children are overweigh as a result of eating too much fast food. It is necessary for governments to ban selling this kind of food in schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #children #overweigh #food #governments #ban #schools
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It is believed that the number of overweight
children
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 keeps adding up
as a result
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 of consuming too much fast
food
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 in some nations.
Therefore
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, the governments should restrict
this
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 type of
food
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 in schools. I agree with
this
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 opinion because it is important to keep
children
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 healthy.
Firstly
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, consuming healthy
food
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 can support
children
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's activities. As we know, the school has numerous physical and non-physical activities for long hours and during the break
time
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, the students will have
time
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 to recharge their energy by having lunch. At
this
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time
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, it is crucial that they need to consume enough sources of protein,
fiber
Change the spelling
fibre
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 and carbohydrates. It is because
this
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 balance can help maximize their brain activity and make their body stronger.
On the other hand
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, fast
food
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 has too much sodium
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to obesity and makes them easily get sleepy.
As a result
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, they become less productive, more aggressive and hard to understand the lessons. Another sound argument is some kids
also
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 consume fast
food
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 after school
time
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 because perhaps their parents do not have
time
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 to cook.
This
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 means
,
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apply
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 the chances of taking fast
food
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 are higher than if the school limited their intake. When the government apply
this
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 regulation it will be affected the
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children
Change noun form
children's
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 habit
to
Change preposition
of
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 always paying attention to their
food
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 selection.
In addition
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, the parents
also
Linking Words
 feel calm knowing their
children
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 are in good hands. In conclusion, the fast
food
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 restriction will bring
number
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a number
the number
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 of benefits not only for the
children
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 but
also
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 for the parents. It is because healthy
food
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 will support the kids' activities and make the more productive.
Submitted by fitri.antoni on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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