IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people suggest that international news should study as a subject in secondary school. However, others say that it will be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #news #study #school #waste #time
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There are many others
suggest
Correct pronoun usage
who suggest
show examples
 that international
news
Use synonyms
compulsory
Add a missing verb
is compulsory
show examples
 for
educated
Correct article usage
the educated
show examples
 as a
subject
Use synonyms
. But others
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that it is wasting pupil
school
Use synonyms
 time. I strongly believe that all
pupils
Use synonyms
 learn as a
subject
Use synonyms
 for international
news
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, there are many
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
would
Correct pronoun usage
that would
show examples
 get
pupils
Use synonyms
 when they learned international
news
Use synonyms
.
Fristly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
First
, They can
educated
Wrong verb form
educate
show examples
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 economy, because of globalization many
news
Use synonyms
 published
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 economy.
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 good for the student who
planning
Change the form of the verb
plans
show examples
 to
business
Add a missing verb
do business
show examples
 in future.
Secondly
Linking Words
, another main topic published by
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 is
a crime
Remove the article
crime news
a piece of crime news
show examples
news
Use synonyms
. Those who are keen to work in law industries
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could gain valuable knowledge.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some majority believe that it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 time. Because
pupils
Use synonyms
 have many
Use synonyms
subject
Change to a plural noun
subjects
show examples
 to learn where they were in
school
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
. in Sri
lankan
Change the capitalization
Lankan
Lanka
show examples
 secondary schools have been teaching
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
student common
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 English, maths, science,
art.
Correct word choice
and art.
show examples
 because they believe that
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
 knowledge
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that academic
subject
Use synonyms
 compulsory for their life and would
be get
Change the verb form
get
show examples
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 job when they
leaving
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, when they learn about world crime it might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
influence
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
pupil
Change noun form
pupil's
show examples
 mind. because international
news
Use synonyms
 contains
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those topics. some
news
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 valuable and some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
are useless. In conclusion, Many people like to include international
news
Use synonyms
 as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 academic
subject
Use synonyms
 in secondary
school
Use synonyms
 because
pupils
Use synonyms
hhave
Correct your spelling
have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that, but some people believe that it waisting
school
Use synonyms
 time and effect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Use synonyms
pupils
Change to a genitive case
pupil's
pupils'
show examples
 behaviour.
Finally
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that including international
news
Use synonyms
 as a
college
Add a comma
,college
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
 is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
necessary.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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