Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give tour opinion.

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We all know about electronic devices' importance nowadays

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

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those related to computers. In fact, the world keeps

Unnecessary verb

apply

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emphasizing the use of

this

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kind of utility as it is strongly useful in a wide range of fields. But one question still remains:

Verb problem

Will

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this

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development

will

Verb problem

apply

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tend either to bring benefits to society or reverse

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First,

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we are going to talk about relevant positive results and

then

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we will see what could be the dark side of

computer

Use synonyms

use. First of all, laptops have been developed for more than 60 years now and many evolutions occurred making impacts in the present.

For example

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, informatics software designed

for making

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to make

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work-life easier has been a great invention for the population working. population do not need to remember everything or write information on tons of paper.

Furthermore

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computer

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development enables to backup of a huge amount of data using physical memories or even clouds ,

Instead

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physical papers may be lost

due to

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fire ignition

for instance

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On the other hand

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, some people may think about

computer

Use synonyms

downsides. In fact, as computers' efficiency is getting on

the

Correct article usage

apply

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top day by day, human work may be affected resulting in unemployment perhaps. I remember stories from my childhood wherein people were not able to match with informatic field development whilst they were really comfortable in their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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. Unfortunately, it could result in well-being issues

such

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as depression, anxiety or even worse.

To conclude

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, if I had to share my thoughts, I would say that the whole world is changing anyway. Technology improvement will bring more and more electronic devices including

computer

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intelligence. In my opinion, everyone has to understand those changes and try to fit in with them as they won't have a choice.

Nevertheless

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, I barely believe that

computer

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technologies have to be strictly monitored because they could affect people's behaviours. Technologies cannot replace humans in every way.

laniesse.sebastienFri Jan 06 2023

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task response

Task response: The essay tries to address both the positive and negative aspects of using computers in education, but the development of ideas is somewhat disorganized. It would be better to clearly separate the positive and negative points and provide more specific examples for each. Additionally, the opinion on the issue should be clearly stated in the conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is weak, as the ideas are not consistently organized. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the development of ideas within the paragraphs lacks coherence. The essay would benefit from better use of transitional phrases to connect ideas and improve the flow of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give tour opinion.

Your opinion

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