Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give tour opinion.
We all know about electronic devices' importance nowadays
especially
those related to computers. In fact, the world keeps Add the comma(s)
, especially
is
emphasizing the use of Unnecessary verb
apply
this
kind of utility as it is strongly useful in a wide range of fields. But one question still remains: is
Verb problem
Will
this
development will
tend either to bring benefits to society or reverseVerb problem
apply
.
Change the punctuation
?
First,
we are going to talk about relevant positive results and then
we will see what could be the dark side of computer
use.
First of all, laptops have been developed for more than 60 years now and many evolutions occurred making impacts in the present. For example
, informatics software designed for making
work-life easier has been a great invention for the population working. population do not need to remember everything or write information on tons of paper. Change preposition
to make
Furthermore
, computer
development enables to backup of a huge amount of data using physical memories or even clouds ,Instead
physical papers may be lost due to
fire ignition for instance
.
On the other hand
, some people may think about computer
downsides. In fact, as computers' efficiency is getting on the
top day by day, human work may be affected resulting in unemployment perhaps. I remember stories from my childhood wherein people were not able to match with informatic field development whilst they were really comfortable in their Correct article usage
apply
job
. Unfortunately, it could result in well-being issues Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
such
as depression, anxiety or even worse.
To conclude
, if I had to share my thoughts, I would say that the whole world is changing anyway. Technology improvement will bring more and more electronic devices including computer
intelligence. In my opinion, everyone has to understand those changes and try to fit in with them as they won't have a choice. Nevertheless
, I barely believe that computer
technologies have to be strictly monitored because they could affect people's behaviours. Technologies cannot replace humans in every way.Submitted by laniesse.sebastien on
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task response
Task response: The essay tries to address both the positive and negative aspects of using computers in education, but the development of ideas is somewhat disorganized. It would be better to clearly separate the positive and negative points and provide more specific examples for each. Additionally, the opinion on the issue should be clearly stated in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is weak, as the ideas are not consistently organized. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the development of ideas within the paragraphs lacks coherence. The essay would benefit from better use of transitional phrases to connect ideas and improve the flow of the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?