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Band 4.5

In a response to the perceived threat of terrorism, security measures in many of the world’s major cities have been increased significantly in recent years. Do the benefits of having increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

#threat #terrorism #security #measures #world’s #cities #years
For many years until now, People and governments tend to argue about insecurity all over the world.
Although
, some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 trust the government is their decision while others believe it is too much. In
this
 essay, we are going to describe the benefits and the drawbacks of
security's
Change noun form
security
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 measures taken by the world's major cities.
First
 of all, you can agree that politicians prioritize
security
 for everybody in every country. For
exemple
Correct your spelling
example
 in France, after two terrorist attacks in Paris
then
Correct word choice
and then
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 in Nice, the Army was implanted everywhere
an
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apply
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especially in airports and around public monuments. People are feeling safer since the growing number of
policemans
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policemen
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.
Therefore
, public events like the
Correct your spelling
Christmas
Christmass
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Christmas
 market
was
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were
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 shut down but nobody was hurt.
On the other hand
,
security
have
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has
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 been for the
last
 years increased in so many ways that other people believe that it is stressful to be surrounded by the Army.
For instance
, I remember a TV documentary talking about insecure youngsters because they saw guns too frequently.
This
 measure was to protect,
nevertheless
, children were impacted badly by
this
 situation. About public events like the
christmass
Correct your spelling
Christmas
 market, lots of parents disagree with
this
 decision because they
was
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were
show examples
 thinking of the benefits to spend time with others. To conclude, I would like to share that the
security
 of the Nation is not easy,
also
 decisions
has
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have
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 to be
make
Wrong verb form
made
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 even if the danger is unknown. In my opinion, measures are always taken too late and we have to face sad situations with death and casualties. Maybe is time to face reality.
Submitted by laniesse.sebastien on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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