Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Many companies make their
products
with a great quantity of sugar
, which leads to a
several health diseases. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
This
essay displays the
cost of aliments with Correct word choice
that the
sugar
should be increased to promote people
eating
less Change the verb form
to eat
sugar
. Although
it might be a solution, I don’t agree to
Change preposition
with
this
topic.
Nowadays, sugar
food
and drink products
are the main factor
which leads to Change the noun form
factors
a
several diseases Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
such
as heart, mental problems, obesity, and diabetes. So, a huge number of companies try to increase the price on
that kind of Change preposition
of
products
to lower their consumption. In fact, we can see a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
product
people
who don’t care about all the problems that can occur to their health, they continue eating more junk food
with a lot of fat, sugar
. The main reason why Correct word choice
and sugar
people
chose processed food
instead
of healthy
one, is because a great quantity of fat, and carbohydrates make the aliment much tastier. Add an article
a healthy
For example
, although
McDonalds
and KFC companies try to increase prices, Change noun form
Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
people
chose eating junk food
without any doubts.
My take on this
, I disagree with this
topic, because the increasing price will never solve the problem of avoiding sweet products
and drinks. In my point of view, government
should invest Add an article
the government
on
making healthy Change preposition
in
food
, for example
, instead
of adding sugar
, they can use sweeteners which don’t have a considerable impact on our health.
In a nutshell, sugar
products
might lead to a significant problem, but increasing their price will not solve anything,
until we try to avoid those Remove the comma
apply
aliments
to have a healthy life.Correct your spelling
ailments
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite