IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#consideration #career #job #income
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Undoubtedly
money
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 is the deciding factor in the selection of a
job
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. Many
people
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 believe high
income
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 allows them to provide financial security for themselves and their families. Whether or not
money
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 is
an
Change the article
a
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significant factor for choosing a
job
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, considering each
person
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person's
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 interest. In
this
Linking Words
essay
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essay,
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 I will give my opinion and describe why
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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I agree
whit
Correct your spelling
with
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this
Linking Words
 statement.
To begin
Linking Words
whit
Correct your spelling
with
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 the importance of
money
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 in society is unavoidable. So most of the
people
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goes
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go
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 after careers with high incomes.
Witch
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Witch,
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 it’s a wise decision to make.
Career
Add an article
A career
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 with high salaries, probably won’t need
amount
Correct article usage
a amount
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time
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 of
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
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 and
also
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 you may provide yourself less difficult life.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 each career has its own difficulty and even in choosing
following
Correct article usage
the following
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job
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people
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 should consider their interests as well.
Nevertheless
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 making
money
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 feels good and
elevate
Correct subject-verb agreement
elevates
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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 motivations, it might make you exhausted after a
while
Linking Words
. So
for making
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to make
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 an even wiser
decision
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decision,
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 it’s better to choose high
income
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job
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
that refer
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refer
Correct subject-verb agreement
refers
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 to your interest.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 unlike only a few
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
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 who choose to select a
job
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 without thinking about financial problems in the future and its consequences, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 choose to select their
job
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 professionally and spend
time
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to enjoy
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enjoying
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 their interest as a hobby at the same
time
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
choosing
Wrong verb form
they choose
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 a
job
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 as a surgeon and
Wrong verb form
follow
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following
Wrong verb form
follow
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 painting skills in their leisure
time
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.
However
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 the following statement
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
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 mean painters can’t make
money
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 as surgeons,
this
Linking Words
 is just a personal theory.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having a high
income
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 can’t be the only factor
for
Change preposition
in
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 choosing a career. There are more important factors to consider. There are always easier choices for having markable incomes,
witch
Correct your spelling
which
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 they might be illegal or against
humanity
Change noun form
humanity's
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 rights.
Actually
Add a comma
Actually,
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 we should put
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 moral factors first and think if the selected
job
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 is useful for society or if it brings any benefit
for
Change preposition
to
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 humanity,
also
Linking Words
 defining the advantages and disadvantages of the selected
job
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.
To conclude
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, in my view, having a noticeable
income
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 should
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
 in total because somehow our entire life depends on it,
due to
Linking Words
 the moral side of it and our interests, it’s better to consider all before making
decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
.
Submitted by negarqaemi24 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • job satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • personal fulfillment
  • financial stability
  • passion
  • quality of life
  • work-life balance
  • career advancement
  • societal impact
  • income disparity
  • material success
  • monetary compensation
  • wealth accumulation
  • economic well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: