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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There has been an increase in the number of children and youngsters committing crime. What are the reasons for this? What punishments should they receive?

#children #youngsters #crime #punishments
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According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent reports, the level of
crime
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 is rising in many cities across the world, particularly
there
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because there
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 is a
growning
Correct your spelling
growing
 number of under-age offenders.
This
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 essay will explore the reasons for
this
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 development and will suggest possible ways forward. Let us
first
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 look
how
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at how
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 we, as a society, ended up in
Linking Words
such
Add an article
the such
a such
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situation
Correct article usage
a situation
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. There are
mulptiple
Correct your spelling
multiple
 factors that have contributed to it. The most important of them is the
growning
Correct your spelling
growing
 income inequality. As more families are struggling to meet their ends, they naturally have less and less time to take
a
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apply
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good care of their children and prevent them from joining various
crime
Use synonyms
 gangs.
This
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 is clearly demonstrated by the situation my home country experienced in the 90s. The economic
crises
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crisis
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 has placed many families below
poverty
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the poverty
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 level, and,
consequently
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,
the
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Replace the word
criminal
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 activity has increased in all age groups, especially, children. Now, we have dealt with the causes that lead a growing number of
childen
Correct your spelling
children
 to commit
Use synonyms
Add an article
a crime
the crime
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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. Let us look
how
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at how
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 we could change their behaviour. While many people
agrue
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argue
agree
 for stricter laws, a more efficient strategy is to increase social support. If children have enough resources and if they see
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for
future
Add an article
the future
a future
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 they would be less likely to follow a 'wrong' path. To conclude,
this
Linking Words
 essay has demonstrated that the rising economic inequality is the major cause, that leads a
growning
Correct your spelling
growing
 number of
childen
Correct your spelling
children
 to commit
Use synonyms
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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. As a way to combat
this
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 problem, it has been suggested to increase investments in
the
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apply
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various social support programs.
Submitted by j8d3 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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