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Band 4.5

The demand for food is increasing worldwide. Why has it happened? What measures could the international community take to improve the situation?

#demand #food #measures #community #situation
In the
last
 few years, the quantity of
food
 needed is growing in so many areas.
This
 is a situation from which humanity cannot really escape because of the number of
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
 population that
reaces
Correct your spelling
reaches
 the eight million people in
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 world and the certain need to eat to survive. In
this
 essay, I am going to try to describe a possible cause and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
find
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 hypothetic solution.
First
 of all, is important to underline that even if is full of zones where the
food
 is not enough there are
also
 others where a single person eats a huge quantity of bad quality
food
. In fact, in develop
countries
 a lot of people in the
last
 time became obese.
This
 example shows how the world is
complitly
Correct your spelling
completely
 divided: poor
countries
 export
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 resource to the rich ones which waste and consume
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much
food
. In my opinion, a great solution could be to try to come back to the "old method", I mean to create in each big rich city an area for a common vegetables garden and farm where each member of
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 can contribute and take good
food
, avoiding waste and unhealthy products. In
this
 way, poor
countries
 will not be
abuse
Wrong verb form
abused
show examples
 anymore to produce meat for fast
food
,
consequently
, they can take part in
this
 project. In conclusion, I think that humans should remember their origins and try to recreate them. The planet gives us a huge resource of
food
 and we should dive
equal
Change the adjective
equally
show examples
 between
countries
 to guarantee
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right diet
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 everyone.
Submitted by miryam.i.dedea on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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