IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

A tendency of news reported in the media about problems and emergencies rather than positive developments is more harmful to the individual and to society. Do you agree or disagree?

#tendency #news #media #emergencies #developments #society
In
this
 modern era,
media
 has influential on our daily life to get know about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information around the globe.
However
, some
people
 harbour argues that nowadays
media
 covers majorly problems and emergencies which create negative vibes for themselves and for society.In
this
 essay, I will elaborate on the beneficial and adverse aspects of
this
 trend and
thus
 lead to a logical conclusion. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 myriad reasons to agree with the meritorious reasons.
First
 of all, with the aid of electronic gadgets, frequently get updates from the
media
 to
people
. In recent years, the
media
 telecasted information majorly on criminal activities and global warming.
Therefore
,
people
 aware of these issues, give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contribute
Replace the word
contribution
show examples
 to solving these problems.
For instance
, In a recent survey, 4 % of
people
 stopped using non-eco-friendly vehicles with the influence of the
media
. Needless to say, all these points stand in good stead. To get more specifics, the
media
 played a major role in the Russian and Uranium clash wars, many
people
 from different nations condemn
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Russian
leaders
Change noun form
leader's
leaders'
show examples
halt
Fix the infinitive
to halt
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 war and gave hospitality to
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
injuried
Correct your spelling
injured
people
.
By contrast
, negative
speard
Correct your spelling
spread
 of the news in the
media
 which
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
vibes
Correct the article-noun agreement
vibe
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to mental depression.
Hence
, it's apparent why many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 are against
this
 trend. In recapitulation, definitely true that the
media
 has to cover up the majority
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
problems due to catastrophic issues ,especially climate change. In case, the problem has not
addressed
Add a missing verb
been addressed
show examples
 properly in the
media
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 create disasters for
Add an article
a
show examples
living creature.
Consequently
, I firmly agree with the given statement.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: