Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?
It
is commonly think
that Change the verb form
is commonly thought
pupil's
entertainment Fix the agreement mistake
pupils'
activities
should be educational and if not waste their valuble
time. But I disagree with Correct your spelling
valuable
this
statment
because we should give them Correct your spelling
statement
priority
Add an article
a priority
for
Change preposition
to
make
Change the verb form
making
decision
about that.
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
Firsly
, academic subjects must be important to all Correct your spelling
Firstly
First
pupil's
, because they Change noun form
pupils
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
gain
knowledge about the world fact from Change the form of the verb
gaining
the
academic subjects. But it is not enough for the Correct article usage
apply
wining
Correct your spelling
winning
achieve
future goal. Add the particle
to achieve
Therefore
, the pupil's
gain life experience from entertainment Change noun form
pupils
activities
. Also
it is necessary to develop our Concernrate ability and protect from future illnesses. Add a comma
,Also
For example
,nowadays all the Sri Lankan Scools
before Start class they arrange for the students some exercise program. Because they Correct your spelling
schools
are believe
regular exercise could develop student Change the verb form
believe
Concenrated
ability and they can reduce overweight. Correct your spelling
Concentrated
Therefore
, reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
overwight
could protect From Correct your spelling
overweight
the
future illnesses Correct article usage
apply
such
as diabetic
. So due to that fact, leisure Replace the word
diabetes
activities
must be compulsory.
Secondly
, relaxation
Correct article usage
a relaxation
workout
could develop Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
creative
mindset. Because while they are Add an article
a creative
Studing
they can draw Correct your spelling
Studying
arts
and could improve their creative skills. Fix the agreement mistake
art
Also
some of Add a comma
,Also
Correct article usage
the pupil's
pupil's
could Change noun form
pupils
listen
music and Add the preposition
tolisten
some day
they can Correct your spelling
someday
singing
Wrong verb form
sing
song
attractively. Fix the agreement mistake
songs
Therefore
, those who are developed creative talents could be found better
Correct article usage
a better
profession
. Because these days some companies not looking Fix the agreement mistake
professions
people
Change preposition
for people
education
Change preposition
with education
background
and need Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
human
Correct article usage
a human
talant
who can do work with his creative skill. Correct your spelling
talent
For example
, doing chef
job Correct article usage
a chef
not
necessary for the educational background, because Add a missing verb
is not
in
all hospitality industries looking people who have Change preposition
apply
a
creative experience. Correct article usage
apply
That is
the reason activities
how
leisure Correct word choice
and
important
to Add a missing verb
are important
pupil's
life.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that all Correct article usage
a pupil's
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
pupil's
should do entertainment Change the noun form
pupils
pupil
workout
. Because they could get more Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
benefit
in their life and leisure Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
workout
not necessary to be an academic.Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
Submitted by asankabiz84 on
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