Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

It
is commonly think
Change the verb form
is commonly thought
show examples
that
pupil's
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils'
show examples
entertainment
activities
should be educational and if not waste their
valuble
Correct your spelling
valuable
time. But I disagree with
this
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
because we should give them
priority
Add an article
a priority
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
about that.
Firsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
First
, academic subjects must be important to all
pupil's
Change noun form
pupils
show examples
, because they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gain
Change the form of the verb
gaining
show examples
knowledge about the world fact from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic subjects. But it is not enough for the
wining
Correct your spelling
winning
show examples
achieve
Add the particle
to achieve
show examples
future goal.
Therefore
, the
pupil's
Change noun form
pupils
show examples
gain life experience from entertainment
activities
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
it is necessary to develop our Concernrate ability and protect from future illnesses.
For example
,nowadays all the Sri Lankan
Scools
Correct your spelling
schools
before Start class they arrange for the students some exercise program. Because they
are believe
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
regular exercise could develop student
Concenrated
Correct your spelling
Concentrated
ability and they can reduce overweight.
Therefore
,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
overwight
Correct your spelling
overweight
could protect From
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future illnesses
such
as
diabetic
Replace the word
diabetes
show examples
. So due to that fact, leisure
activities
must be compulsory.
Secondly
,
relaxation
Correct article usage
a relaxation
show examples
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
could develop
creative
Add an article
a creative
show examples
mindset. Because while they are
Studing
Correct your spelling
Studying
they can draw
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
and could improve their creative skills.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
some of
Correct article usage
the pupil's
show examples
pupil's
Change noun form
pupils
show examples
could
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
music and
some day
Correct your spelling
someday
show examples
they can
singing
Wrong verb form
sing
show examples
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
show examples
attractively.
Therefore
, those who are developed creative talents could be found
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
. Because these days some companies not looking
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
education
Change preposition
with education
show examples
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
and need
human
Correct article usage
a human
show examples
talant
Correct your spelling
talent
who can do work with his creative skill.
For example
, doing
chef
Correct article usage
a chef
show examples
job
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
necessary for the educational background, because
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all hospitality industries looking people who have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
creative experience.
That is
the reason
activities
how
Correct word choice
and
show examples
leisure
important
Add a missing verb
are important
show examples
to
pupil's
Correct article usage
a pupil's
show examples
life. In conclusion, I strongly believe that all
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pupil's
Change the noun form
pupils
pupil
show examples
should do entertainment
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
. Because they could get more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
in their life and leisure
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
not necessary to be an academic.
Submitted by asankabiz84 on

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