The widespread use of the Internet gives people more freedom at home instead of going to work or college. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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The recent computer development has resulted in
the
Correct article usage
a
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burgeoning number of
people
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working at home and
students
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learning through the Internet.
This
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is definitely positive in some particular aspects. The enhancement of
technology
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can be considered as an effective measure to deal with the lack of employment. It is a driving force for
people
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to operate their own businesses online which can generate a larger income.
For example
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, Vietnamese
people
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are witnessing a dramatically growing number of online sales pages
such
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as Tiki or Lazada which earn telephone figure profits per year.
This
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improvement leads us to a distinctively new era of economics/market in which
highly
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high
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unemployment incidence is no longer a tough and urgent problem for governments.
Therefore
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, the development of computer
technology
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is
for sure
Rephrase
certainly
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necessary and beneficial from
this
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point of view.
This
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aforementioned development
also
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fosters the self-learning competence of undergraduates.
Firstly
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,
people
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now are granted access to a huge storage of rewarding knowledge which is especially helpful and relevant to their studies at school. Wikipedia, for a prime example, is used for researching information in
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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such
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terms of history, geography or chemistry by a vast number of
students
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around the world.
Secondly
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, social networks
such
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as Facebook and Instagram which are an advance of
technology
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in recent years have empowered
students
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to contact
with
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apply
show examples
each other and
together
Rephrase
apply
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cope with hard exercises regardless of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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geographic adversities. In
this
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way of learning,
students
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have golden opportunities to boost their personal teamwork capacity.
Therefore
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, the lack of teachers is no longer an important issue. In conclusion, from available justifications,
this
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essay
further
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reinforces the author’s personal
advocate
Replace the word
advocacy
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for the increasing/rising merit of
technology
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to both education and the working environment in recent years.
However
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, it has to be conceded that the limited aspects of the wide application of
technology
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should be taken into careful account to prevent any possible undesirable
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
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.
Submitted by mustafabinothman2003 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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