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Band 2.5

Philippine considered as one of the over populated conutries all over the world. Do you agree or disagree?

#philippine #conutries #world
The two pie charts
compares
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compare
show examples
 the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
visitors
 to Ashdown
Museum
 before and after the
year
 of
renovation
. Overall, the total number of
visitors
 who are dissatisfied accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 largest proportion of the graph prior to the
year
 of
renovation
. Meanwhile, it was recorded as the least percentage after the
year
 of refurbishment. As clearly observed in the pie chart, during the same two periods of development of
Museum
Correct article usage
the Museum
show examples
, surveys
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that both dissatisfied and satisfied
visitors
 marked 40%, which is the highest proportion.
Subsequently
, the percentage of dissatisfied
guest
Fix the agreement mistake
guests
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 decreased
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 25% of its size after the
year
 of
renovation
. Following
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the record is that, 30% of
satisfied
Add an article
a satisfied
the satisfied
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of
visitors
 the
year
 before redevelopment increased to 10%.
Next
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the survey,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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shows that
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 satisfied number of guests gained more than double
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its proportion after the refurbishment which marked 15% of the graph in the previous
year
.
Moreover
, very dissatisfied
visitors
 which recorded 10% of the graph size became half of it after the
renovation
 of
Museum
Correct article usage
the Museum
show examples
. Almost 95% of the
visitors
 took the surveys but 5% shows no response during the same period. And the total number of guests increased to 18,000 after the
Museum
renovation
 compared to the
year
 before which recorded 74,000
visitors
.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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